herpes

every day, I wake up, feeling ho hum, then somehow motivate to get up and start my "day". Normally I can push myself so hard and acomplish so much, but lately it just has felt worthless to work hard. Inside, I know I am going to bounce back from feeling like this, but I just dont know when. I am still doing what I need to be doing everyday so I can get my studio open for business. I guess moving back here from NYC and Florida after 10 years, I had forgotten how much of a small place this is and how boring it seems sometimes. I know I am doing the best plan I could come up with to have a succesful future. I always imagine myself making a good amount of money, nothing sick like donald trump, but OK money, and more importantly i always imagine having a really great girlfriend/wife there with me. That is the really hard part for me now, ever since i got the herpes... It is really tough to find someone special to spend time with in that boat. I have had some less than fun times w/ meeting women off a herpes site, just so fucking hard to know what someone is going to be like from a picture... of course people always promote their best qualities... Maybe its just more notiecable because the seasons are changing here and there is less daylight. I try the best i can to be a moral person, to be a nice guy, and to be a good friend to my friends. I have been that way as long as I can remember, and it just pisses me off when I look at dudes who disrespect women, or cheat on them, or whatever, and THEY seem to always have nothing but the best luck with women... it is very disheartening. None the less, I will never give up, cuz I am a spiritual warrior inside and I DONT give up... it is nice to have a journal to write crap in cuz i can read it myself.

if its going to be that kind of party, I am going to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes