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heroine

I'm lost

SG Since 2007

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Friday Nov 28, 2008

Nov 28, 2008
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Hey guys!
Sorry I don't update more often, I would if I weren't so busy with my mom lately. She's still very sick, we don't really know if its coming from the potassium (as mentioned in a previuos blog) or her neuropathy. I guess it could be the mixture of the 2. I don't know but I do know that my mom can hardly use her arms, she can hardly walk on her own, which makes everything so difficult. I keep praying that its just a temporary side effect of the potassium. I mean she walked out of the hospital after her toe amputation feeling fine other than a little depressed because she just lost her toe obviously. For 2 weeks, she was fine then the potassium thing happened and this started.
I'm doing my best to make her feel loved and cared for and I give her hope, as much as possible and tell her that we're gonna figure this all out.
I mean I know neuropathy is permanant but I'm telling you my mom knew she had that for years and never was really effected by it other than tingling and burning sensations. Now after we find out about the potassium and now this is how she gets?
It's so hard on me and her. Most of my siblings are still assholes and don't try to do anything for her. My younger sister does help her some by giving her her meds. and helping her to the bathroom to bathe and bathing her, and she also changes her bandages. Balita still helps too. By the way her toe amputation is healing really well, that also makes it all more depressing due to what we thought was the big deal is no longer such a big deal, we have way bigger fish to fry!
I'm so fucking overwhelmed in so many fucking ways! I've become obsessed with finding out my mothers ailment. That's all I think about all the time. She's fucking 53 years old! I cry all the time, just not around her. I somehow manage to maintain while in her presence.
I mean this whole situation breaks my heart more than any of you will ever know! It hurts so much to see her this way!!
She also keeps telling me that she doesn't think she'll ever be the same. I'm used to my mom saying everything will be okay and now shes not saying that, it makes me want to cry. It's devistating to say the least!!
I'm sorry to put all of my problems out there, I just had to get it out.
She's not passing out any more and she can walk a little on her own compared to when the potassium thing was going on, so I guess that's a plus. I keep trying to be positive!
Well I guess I should move on to more positive things,

Balita
Balita- The Autumn Effect Check it out! Coming soon to a member review near you! smile
...
xoxo
Heroine
Also....
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
tai_:
Thank you for the advice! And I hope your mom feels better frown
Dec 3, 2008
leib_:
Thank you so much for commenting on my set smile

kiss
Dec 4, 2008

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