So I found out yesterday that apparently my nan has cancer, and it's too late (and she's too old) for them to really do anything about it. There's no telling how long she's got.
Obviously it's a depressing thought. In some ways I feel rather distant as I've not been close to her or seen her much for a quite a while now, but on the flip side I feel uber guilty as that's largely my fault for not making more of an effort. (And it *is* effort given I don't drive and she lives in deepest, darkest Yorkshire.)
Not that I want to write things off already. She's always been a pretty hardy person, even if she's more fragile now she's in her 80s. My mum's supposed to be whisking her off to Spain in a few weeks for her birthday and I'm sure they'll have a lovely time. And I will be trying to catch up with her ASAP.
I guess it's just a culture shock to be reminded so suddenly of one's mortality. At the same time though part of me just wants to be very pragmatic about it in a way that (from the outside at least) seems terribly dispassionate. My life hasn't been touched that much by death, the closest and most personal experience being my hamster earlier this year. Other people I know (including family) have passed on before but no-one really that close to me. Seeing how it's affected the people around me has been more harrowing in comparison, and I know the hardest thing ahead will be helping my mum cope with her grief when the inevitable eventually occurs.
Obviously it's a depressing thought. In some ways I feel rather distant as I've not been close to her or seen her much for a quite a while now, but on the flip side I feel uber guilty as that's largely my fault for not making more of an effort. (And it *is* effort given I don't drive and she lives in deepest, darkest Yorkshire.)
Not that I want to write things off already. She's always been a pretty hardy person, even if she's more fragile now she's in her 80s. My mum's supposed to be whisking her off to Spain in a few weeks for her birthday and I'm sure they'll have a lovely time. And I will be trying to catch up with her ASAP.
I guess it's just a culture shock to be reminded so suddenly of one's mortality. At the same time though part of me just wants to be very pragmatic about it in a way that (from the outside at least) seems terribly dispassionate. My life hasn't been touched that much by death, the closest and most personal experience being my hamster earlier this year. Other people I know (including family) have passed on before but no-one really that close to me. Seeing how it's affected the people around me has been more harrowing in comparison, and I know the hardest thing ahead will be helping my mum cope with her grief when the inevitable eventually occurs.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
It seems a bit stupid to worry about it when all of them are fine... but the only relative I ever met who died (a great aunt) was all bouncy one day and dead the next... so the element of surprise makes it worse.
Hope you're okay dude.