Well I suppose it's time for another update. I don't have a track history for feeling sorry for myself, and generally I'm normally almost insanely optimistic or laid back, but lately I think I've been approaching a low point. Little things are starting to bother me more and more, and I'm finding it harder just to chill out and relax. I moan about my job a lot but it's ok really, and although much of my artistic pretensions are also mostly just talk, things on that front are going somewhere, albeit slowly.
No, I guess the real problem comes back to my single-ness. My lack of companionship. The absence of female fun to brighten up my day. Not that I sit here obsessing about it all day, every day, but it's been well over a year now since I've partaken in any, and over two years now since my Big Relationship ended.
It's not that I've been trained since adolescence to desire marriage or to settle down (which is true of a lot of people I know) it's just that I've had a taste of how great it can be share your life with someone, and I miss it. I miss it a lot. I am quite happy keeping my own company but that's not really the point. I don't care what bitter, twisted, cynical single people say, there's no substitute for a good romantic relationship. I think Ewan McGregor had it right in Moulin Rouge! all along - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to be loved and to be loved in return" (which IIRC may have originally been stolen from Bowie).
It doesn't help of course that most of my friends are s***. Not only are they rather disinterested in my precidament, but they don't really know anyone of interest to introduce me to (in fact I know far more people than most of them). It would be easy to say it's my fault for not creating more opportunites, but that's a lie, given that I jump at the chance to meet new people, and do so all the time. I have a whole bunch of hobbies & interests that lead to meet people all the time. Plus I'm a member of a number of different bulletin boards online (not just this one), plus more recently a couple of dating/matchmaking services. No joy. Not an iota.
The people I meet are either cretins, they're already spoken for, or I just don't click with them anyway. Maybe I'm just being too discerning, but I just can't abide people with nothing to say for themselves (and regulars of this site excluded, you'd be surprised how many of them there are).
This bloody site doesn't help either. It's great for reminding me that sexy, intelligent, confident, creative girls really do exist and that I should keep on hoping, but on the flip side sometimes it's more like a taunt, reminding just how out my league they probably are.
So here I am, twiddling my thumbs. Tsk.
I guess the other thing bothering me is that the big 30 is next year and to me that seems like a real lifetime milestone. If I can't find anyone by then, then just how long is it going to take? I'd like to think that there's something great destined to happen to me one day, but my considerable patience is starting to wear a little thin. I can't imagine anything more terrifying that growing old alone.
No, I guess the real problem comes back to my single-ness. My lack of companionship. The absence of female fun to brighten up my day. Not that I sit here obsessing about it all day, every day, but it's been well over a year now since I've partaken in any, and over two years now since my Big Relationship ended.
It's not that I've been trained since adolescence to desire marriage or to settle down (which is true of a lot of people I know) it's just that I've had a taste of how great it can be share your life with someone, and I miss it. I miss it a lot. I am quite happy keeping my own company but that's not really the point. I don't care what bitter, twisted, cynical single people say, there's no substitute for a good romantic relationship. I think Ewan McGregor had it right in Moulin Rouge! all along - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to be loved and to be loved in return" (which IIRC may have originally been stolen from Bowie).
It doesn't help of course that most of my friends are s***. Not only are they rather disinterested in my precidament, but they don't really know anyone of interest to introduce me to (in fact I know far more people than most of them). It would be easy to say it's my fault for not creating more opportunites, but that's a lie, given that I jump at the chance to meet new people, and do so all the time. I have a whole bunch of hobbies & interests that lead to meet people all the time. Plus I'm a member of a number of different bulletin boards online (not just this one), plus more recently a couple of dating/matchmaking services. No joy. Not an iota.
The people I meet are either cretins, they're already spoken for, or I just don't click with them anyway. Maybe I'm just being too discerning, but I just can't abide people with nothing to say for themselves (and regulars of this site excluded, you'd be surprised how many of them there are).
This bloody site doesn't help either. It's great for reminding me that sexy, intelligent, confident, creative girls really do exist and that I should keep on hoping, but on the flip side sometimes it's more like a taunt, reminding just how out my league they probably are.
So here I am, twiddling my thumbs. Tsk.
I guess the other thing bothering me is that the big 30 is next year and to me that seems like a real lifetime milestone. If I can't find anyone by then, then just how long is it going to take? I'd like to think that there's something great destined to happen to me one day, but my considerable patience is starting to wear a little thin. I can't imagine anything more terrifying that growing old alone.
Growing old with Danny LaRue?
Seriously though, perhaps the convention will present some possibilities?
I was talking to an old friend about this very subject last night. He's funny, rich, generous, kind and wild at heart. He's 40 and not unattractive and all he gets is interest from 40yr old divorcees with kids who like the prospect of a steady, wealthy husband. Not his scene at all...