hermes

Hmm. Well my friend's wedding on Saturday went well, up into the point I potentially, shamefully and possibly irrepairably made an idiot of myself. I don't have the guts to elaborate, except to that it's the kind of behaviour you'd expect from a dribbly wino with no self-respect, not from a rational, sensible human being. The thing is, people might not have noticed, but then again, they might have. And there were children. Hence the potentially, shamefully, and irrepairably. (Yes, I know it sounds like a real black comedy moment, but this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life).

The irony is that only the day before I was just saying to someone about how drinking isn't that important - especially drinking to excess - and how I despise the Essex/chav culture that espouses it. I have no idea what happened. I can't really explain it. And it certainly isn't typical of me. And now I may have to write off associating with all these people thanks to what I have done.

I guess there must be a really bitter and twisted part of me that only gets to rear it's ugly head on these rare and unpleasant connections. I think that maybe I was surrounded by so many nice people that were coupled in bliss, and I couldn't find any fault with them, so I was jealous. And I didn't have guts to try chatting up Dave's gorgeous cousin. And so I took it out on myself. They say those that are the most creative, are also capable of being the most destructive. I forget how much I can scare myself...