NEIL: Oh, I wish we'd missed the train after all now. I'm just not going to be able to answer anything, I just know it.
RICK: Oh, come off it, Neil, you little swotty-pants. Just look at you, swotting away for teacher like a total spazmo. You're just an utter creep, really, aren't you? You've done loads and loads of work on it and I haven't done anything, nothing a t all. Go on, test me. Go on, test me!
NEIL: You just said you hadn't done anything.
RICK: Don't be clever, just take the book. [Rick throws his notebook at Neil]
NEIL: Alright, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principles.
RICK: I'm asking you to test me on it, not throw up on it! Right, do it properly and don't skip bits.
NEIL: [reading the title of the notebook] "O-Level History Notes"?
RICK: Yes, bit of pretty bloody billiant luck, eh? We're doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level!
NEIL: [Reading from the notebook] "Prick is a wonker. Signed, the rest of the class."
RICK: Ah, yes, now, that was a sort of "in joke" that we had in my form. Actually, I was incredibly popular and everyone thought I was great.
NEIL: "...I agree with the rest of the class. Signed, Teacher."
RICK: Just test me on the stuff, will you? [Indicating a different page] There!
NEIL: Alright, alright, don't get uncool and heavy. "Crop rotation in the 14th century..."
RICK: Right. [reciting] "Crop rotation in the 14th century was much more widespread..."
NEIL: "Considerably".
RICK: What?
NEIL: It's "considerably more widespread", not "much more".
RICK: Well?
NEIL: Well, you said, "do it properly."
RICK: Well, not that much, you stupid bloody hippie!
NEIL: You said, "do it properly and don't skip bits!" How was I to know that wasn't important?
RICK: Well it wasn't important, alright? Shall we just get on and stop wasting time like this? Right. "Crop rotation in the 14th century was _considerably_ more widespread...after..." God, I know this...don't tell me..."after 1172." [Neil is s ilent] Well, was I right?
NEIL: No, but I didn't think it was important.
RICK: Well, what was it, then?
NEIL: You just said not to tell you.
RICK: I bloody well did not!
NEIL: Yes you did! You said, "Don't tell me" just before you said, "1172."
RICK: But I only meant for a minute!
NEIL: What, a minute from now, or a minute from then?
RICK: Look, just shut up and tell me the answer!
NEIL: Shut up AND tell you the answer?
RICK: JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER!
NEIL: John.
RICK: Thank you..."John"?
NEIL: Yeah, "John" is the answer.
RICK: "Crop rotation in the 14th century was considerably more widespread after John?
NEIL: "...Lloyd invented the patent crop rotator."
RICK: Oh, yes, I knew it, I bloody knew it!
NEIL: You didn't, you didn't, you said "1172"! That's not a bit like "John".
RICK: [hysterical] You spiteful bastard, Neil! Just because you've done loads and loads of work for this, just because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons of work for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've done absolutely bugger all, and you've done loads, look at it, loads and loads, loads and loads... [he starts making a mess of Neil's papers]
NEIL: Stop it, Rick! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge!
RICK: ...loads and loads, loads and loads...
RICK: Oh, come off it, Neil, you little swotty-pants. Just look at you, swotting away for teacher like a total spazmo. You're just an utter creep, really, aren't you? You've done loads and loads of work on it and I haven't done anything, nothing a t all. Go on, test me. Go on, test me!
NEIL: You just said you hadn't done anything.
RICK: Don't be clever, just take the book. [Rick throws his notebook at Neil]
NEIL: Alright, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principles.
RICK: I'm asking you to test me on it, not throw up on it! Right, do it properly and don't skip bits.
NEIL: [reading the title of the notebook] "O-Level History Notes"?
RICK: Yes, bit of pretty bloody billiant luck, eh? We're doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level!
NEIL: [Reading from the notebook] "Prick is a wonker. Signed, the rest of the class."
RICK: Ah, yes, now, that was a sort of "in joke" that we had in my form. Actually, I was incredibly popular and everyone thought I was great.
NEIL: "...I agree with the rest of the class. Signed, Teacher."
RICK: Just test me on the stuff, will you? [Indicating a different page] There!
NEIL: Alright, alright, don't get uncool and heavy. "Crop rotation in the 14th century..."
RICK: Right. [reciting] "Crop rotation in the 14th century was much more widespread..."
NEIL: "Considerably".
RICK: What?
NEIL: It's "considerably more widespread", not "much more".
RICK: Well?
NEIL: Well, you said, "do it properly."
RICK: Well, not that much, you stupid bloody hippie!
NEIL: You said, "do it properly and don't skip bits!" How was I to know that wasn't important?
RICK: Well it wasn't important, alright? Shall we just get on and stop wasting time like this? Right. "Crop rotation in the 14th century was _considerably_ more widespread...after..." God, I know this...don't tell me..."after 1172." [Neil is s ilent] Well, was I right?
NEIL: No, but I didn't think it was important.
RICK: Well, what was it, then?
NEIL: You just said not to tell you.
RICK: I bloody well did not!
NEIL: Yes you did! You said, "Don't tell me" just before you said, "1172."
RICK: But I only meant for a minute!
NEIL: What, a minute from now, or a minute from then?
RICK: Look, just shut up and tell me the answer!
NEIL: Shut up AND tell you the answer?
RICK: JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER!
NEIL: John.
RICK: Thank you..."John"?
NEIL: Yeah, "John" is the answer.
RICK: "Crop rotation in the 14th century was considerably more widespread after John?
NEIL: "...Lloyd invented the patent crop rotator."
RICK: Oh, yes, I knew it, I bloody knew it!
NEIL: You didn't, you didn't, you said "1172"! That's not a bit like "John".
RICK: [hysterical] You spiteful bastard, Neil! Just because you've done loads and loads of work for this, just because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons of work for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've done absolutely bugger all, and you've done loads, look at it, loads and loads, loads and loads... [he starts making a mess of Neil's papers]
NEIL: Stop it, Rick! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge!
RICK: ...loads and loads, loads and loads...
If they tasted like chicken on the other hand, it would be a different matter altogether
(And damn you! You've inspired me to whip my Young Ones videos out and have a day of cackling at the telly and festering in my jim-jams
*raises a glass to those bloody fools*