From an exchange on OKCupid (names removed):
Her:
I'm interested in taking you out on a date. Let me know.
Me:
Other than the fact that your profile says you are 141 miles away and you don't appear to have a profile picture, I don't see a problem with that.
Her:
Has a girl ever asked you out before?
Me:
If you mean on an online dating site, then several times.
If you mean in person, I would think so, but I can't think of any specific instances. If you include times when girls asked me to do various activities that I may or may not have been aware that it was a date or times when girls obviously flirted with me (to induce me to make a move), straight-up told me they "liked" me or simply propositioned me for sex, then yes.
If you're asking as a roundabout way of suggesting that my response lacked a certain amount of social grace, then, well, it did, but seeing as 1) I'm a little confused as to the apparent logistical issue if you are indeed located in Allentown, PA, 2) a date implies the potential of romance and romance, for me as for most people, requires a modicum of physical attraction (not a ton, mind you, as I find emotional/intellectual connection greatly enhances physical attraction, but there tends to be a baseline), and 3) I don't know you from Eve, so I wouldn't be heartbroken if you retracted your professed interest in light of my seeming callousness.
Her:
Here is a link to my facebook, so you can see pictures [omitted[. Secondly, I didn't mean ask you out, in the ways you mentioned. I meant actually take you out, the way guys take girls out. I know I want a man, and him to take the guys role, but how often do girls take guys out, basicallly never. Anyways, if you are still interested let me know. No hard feelings either.
Me:
I appreciate the offer and applaud your attempt at novelty, but I'm going to pass. Good luck and happy hunting!
Her:
Can I ask why
Me:
Being completely honest:
1. You're almost a decade younger than me. That's not a controlling factor, but it would take some serious convincing before I'd date someone that young.
2. Nothing in your profile really made me feel like we could connect on a meaningful level. I understand that it's hard for almost everyone to write about themselves and some people aren't particularly good writers (and, thus, would make particularly poor showings), but I'm fairly good at reading in between the lines and I'm fine with taking the risk that I might be wrong.
3. Though it's hard to tell from the handful of photos I was able to see on your Facebook profile, I'm inclined to think that I wouldn't personally find you attractive.
4. Not that it matters much, but I pointed out twice that you seem to be in PA and I'm in DC and you never addressed it.
Hope that helps in whatever way you were hoping it might help!
Her:
That's mean. You basically said I'm ugly and most of fb pictures are old bc I hate pictures
Pictures dont do me justice
And ill be in dc in the fall
Me:
Young miss,
If you do not desire to hear the answer, might I suggest, in the future, that you do not ask the question. Granted, most people would feed you a line when asked that question, but then there would still be no point in asking the question.
I did not call you ugly. I merely stated that, based on a couple blurry pictures, I don't think I would find you attractive, which is an important quality to me in someone I'm dating. There are plenty of people out there who find people I don't find attractive beautiful and vice versa. I'm glad to hear pictures don't do you justice.
In all likelihood, I won't be in DC in the fall and, in any case, I don't plan dates four or more months in advance.
Good day!
Her:
I'm interested in taking you out on a date. Let me know.
Me:
Other than the fact that your profile says you are 141 miles away and you don't appear to have a profile picture, I don't see a problem with that.
Her:
Has a girl ever asked you out before?
Me:
If you mean on an online dating site, then several times.
If you mean in person, I would think so, but I can't think of any specific instances. If you include times when girls asked me to do various activities that I may or may not have been aware that it was a date or times when girls obviously flirted with me (to induce me to make a move), straight-up told me they "liked" me or simply propositioned me for sex, then yes.
If you're asking as a roundabout way of suggesting that my response lacked a certain amount of social grace, then, well, it did, but seeing as 1) I'm a little confused as to the apparent logistical issue if you are indeed located in Allentown, PA, 2) a date implies the potential of romance and romance, for me as for most people, requires a modicum of physical attraction (not a ton, mind you, as I find emotional/intellectual connection greatly enhances physical attraction, but there tends to be a baseline), and 3) I don't know you from Eve, so I wouldn't be heartbroken if you retracted your professed interest in light of my seeming callousness.
Her:
Here is a link to my facebook, so you can see pictures [omitted[. Secondly, I didn't mean ask you out, in the ways you mentioned. I meant actually take you out, the way guys take girls out. I know I want a man, and him to take the guys role, but how often do girls take guys out, basicallly never. Anyways, if you are still interested let me know. No hard feelings either.
Me:
I appreciate the offer and applaud your attempt at novelty, but I'm going to pass. Good luck and happy hunting!
Her:
Can I ask why
Me:
Being completely honest:
1. You're almost a decade younger than me. That's not a controlling factor, but it would take some serious convincing before I'd date someone that young.
2. Nothing in your profile really made me feel like we could connect on a meaningful level. I understand that it's hard for almost everyone to write about themselves and some people aren't particularly good writers (and, thus, would make particularly poor showings), but I'm fairly good at reading in between the lines and I'm fine with taking the risk that I might be wrong.
3. Though it's hard to tell from the handful of photos I was able to see on your Facebook profile, I'm inclined to think that I wouldn't personally find you attractive.
4. Not that it matters much, but I pointed out twice that you seem to be in PA and I'm in DC and you never addressed it.
Hope that helps in whatever way you were hoping it might help!
Her:
That's mean. You basically said I'm ugly and most of fb pictures are old bc I hate pictures
Pictures dont do me justice
And ill be in dc in the fall
Me:
Young miss,
If you do not desire to hear the answer, might I suggest, in the future, that you do not ask the question. Granted, most people would feed you a line when asked that question, but then there would still be no point in asking the question.
I did not call you ugly. I merely stated that, based on a couple blurry pictures, I don't think I would find you attractive, which is an important quality to me in someone I'm dating. There are plenty of people out there who find people I don't find attractive beautiful and vice versa. I'm glad to hear pictures don't do you justice.
In all likelihood, I won't be in DC in the fall and, in any case, I don't plan dates four or more months in advance.
Good day!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kemper:
When are you moving to LA?
zebrah:
happy birthday!