hera

If I write and things come pouring out of me then what is to you? If I realize that my life is meaningless and unshapely, will you agree that there is depth to these thoughts? If I told you I feel like I've one foot on the ground and the other on the edge of a building ready to leap would you accept that I'm stuck in a state of ambivalence? Would you talk with me for hours about the symbolism of taking boxes of christmas decorations from the trunk of my car? carrying away months and months of hesitation in cardboard boxes, placing them in the basement and labeling them with black felt tip pen "change" do you understand the holiday upon us reminding me that living is living in a state of "divorce"?
I doubt that I'm the girl for you. Admitting it only stabs the knife deeper into my broken heart, but I'm not the content type... I don't settle and I don't accept that things are just the way they are. I want you to see that I'll probably never be the girl you want me to be.