Sunday Jun 27, 2004

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I'm lonely... I'm just not used to this being alone stuff. It's hard, too many years of being surrounded by someone. Him. It makes me want to take back what I've done, take back everything and go back to the way it was before, comfortable and boring, yet fulfilling and comforting at the same time. But, too much has been done and said and both our hearts have broken.I'm not sure time will be the one to mend this one.
In 4 days I will have roomates- all boys. I changed my mind about living with girls. I am excited about moving into a new place! But at the same time... it kills me. Packing is hard, there are too many memories. I feel torn. I never thought it would end, and I never thought it would end this way.
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jackie113272:
Like I was saying, I did miss things about my 1st husband & I....but time healed my pain. So, no I don't think I made a mistake by divorcing him. Certain things a person you're in total love with does will turn you against them (such as, him holding a loaded gun to my head 2 separate times) Yeah, I'm totally serious.
So, it slowly became a very unstable relationship after a couple years together. We also wanted different things as the marriage progressed & didn't accept one another's outlook for the future...it was just sad for a little bit once I moved out because I was "alone" & I of course fell back into remembering the best times he & I shared....but I had to force myself to face the reality of it not being anywhere near a healthy marriage. And you know what? It was a great move on my part to leave.
Now I have no regrets over that. It's awesome to know I got myself out of that harmful situation, so I look back & am so proud of myself! My current (2nd) marriage is going fabulously - we accept & respect one another even through changes...which is one of the keys to a good relationship in my personal opinion.
smile
naudia:
my poor friend hera. i know it feels hard now, but it really does get easier. do you want to waste your life on "comfortable"? when you think of how hard this is to hear, my mom once told me a really good way to gauge what your heart is telling you to do:

ask yourself, what would you tell your daughter to do in this situation? sometimes when you think of yourself, you will settle, but when you're thinking of someone else that you love, your opinion may change. that choice you made doesn't seem so bad, its what's best for you. even if you don't feel that way now.

feel better,

n

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