henchy

So I have been shit at my attempt at creating an updating a blog along a continuing theme.

From here on in I am going for sporadic and random blurts, just like my life really.

Life, what a weird thing it is, we seem to bob along in our ideals of individuality but often is the case that we accidentally pigeon hole ourselves into societies mantra. For instance, until recently I had what I considered to be an amazing job, I got responsibility, a good wage and got to travel the world going to motorcycle races. Did this make me happy? Did it fuck, my professional life was flying. My private life was in ruin, I had very little time for myself, being tied to a desk for a lot of the time made me unfit, my self esteem was low and i lost passion in the things that once set my heart alight. Be they love, hobbies or just the simple things I cherish.

When I unexpectedly lost my job, my world seemed to unravel, my sense of purpose was gone, I was out of this world that I had put on a pedestal and I felt like I had "peaked". My personal and social lives both took casualties as I fell further into depression.

Since then a good friend has encouraged me to try and strike out on my own, use the talents I previously earned as a freelance operative. So I did, and it was slow to start. Steadily there is more work coming my way and I have found out that there is value to the information in my head, people will actually pay for this, because I know things they and few others do.

And really this is true for all of us, we all know some useful information or skill others are looking for.

Now I am starting my own business, going to pay my own taxes and work to my own schedule. As well as this I have left the UK as my base and moved to Portugal, working part time for a friend for next to no money but living rent and bill free in his spare room, my main income is from my own work. Things are on the up and the sun is shining.

My life is still a mess, but I have again purpose in my life, the depression is fading, my passion for my interests is returning. So my existence is completely random, I am in a new country which is exciting and daunting and my workload is also pretty sketchy but to quote New Order "I get the feeling I'm in motion, a sudden sense of liberty".

And I could always do this, I had just got lost in the pity and crisis to see the way out was within me.

I don't know if anyone will read this but if you do I hope you an find some of the freedom I have.

Henchy.