hemlock170374

Grey matter and neurons burn
as I proceed, removing you from my flesh,
the shiver of what's unnatural
shaking down my spine.
I feel my muscles stiffen,
slowly die and grow again
as I learn and absorb what was in you,
as the scared hunter dares eating the heart
of the memory of the wolf he killed,
knowing well how he barely managed
to escape with his own life,
feeding the illusion of healing the shock,
the awe of having been caught one step behind.
I know this time is different and harder,
I can see it in how this is quickly changing me,
numbing my care and my fears,
turning me into something I wanted to be,
without knowing what you have to go through to get there.
As always in the end,
once again I don't know who you are
and why you hit me and forced me to retreat,
the movie of this moment still plays in my head,
while yours is miles away now.
I feel a scary twitch in my flesh
as I sense every bit of you being recalled
and removed from me.
The stiffness grows
and becomes a dizzy confidence,
as I understand that you showed me
how I should never be caught one step behind
and how heartless I now want to be.
I feel nothing, in the end,
when the process of removing you hits my core
and begins biting at my own soul
and begins removing the now unwanted parts of it, too.
It reaches deep
and I do not even feel the sadness and the fear anymore
of being the last of my kind
and I do not even feel the anger and the rage anymore
of having really believed
that for once
someone was in front of me.

I shall remove everything until nothing will be left,
nothing but a cold, untouchable core
of pure, indifferent quiet.


Thank you.