It's time for me to grow up.
Time for me to get rid of these stupid dreams and ideas I have and get a real job.
I'm sending in the paperwork for my license exam Friday, and I am going to start saving for a car.
I'm tired of being left behind.
I'm tired of what my friends think of me (that they don't think I know).
I'm tired of being considered "a nice guy...but he's not going anywhere."
I'm tired of being second place all the fucking time.
I'm tired of losing love again and again because I am not seen as a good "future" boyfriend.
Being a nice guy doesn't cut it.
You need the clothes, the car, the job, the money...
In a society where the ruthless assholes get everything they want, being a nice guy will only get you shit on.
So fuck it.
I don't want to be a nice guy anymore.
I want to think about me. What I want. What I need.
Because apparently caring about what other people want doesn't get you anything but shit on.
So fuck it.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
-KOS
-added at 3:30 am-
Ok, so I guess I am still a nice guy no matter what, but i am going to get what i want, and i am not going to let people stand in my way.
I was talking to Jenna. I'm supposed to hang out with Zephyer all day tomorrow, and she asked me "why do you do that to yourself?"
I didn't know...
so I thought about it...and realized...
I do it to feel.
I tend to put myself in painful situations so I can feel. So I know I am alive.
Without emotions...whether good or bad, we are not truly alive. I keep myself "alive" with pain...
It's fucked up, I know...
but apparently it works.
Time for me to get rid of these stupid dreams and ideas I have and get a real job.
I'm sending in the paperwork for my license exam Friday, and I am going to start saving for a car.
I'm tired of being left behind.
I'm tired of what my friends think of me (that they don't think I know).
I'm tired of being considered "a nice guy...but he's not going anywhere."
I'm tired of being second place all the fucking time.
I'm tired of losing love again and again because I am not seen as a good "future" boyfriend.
Being a nice guy doesn't cut it.
You need the clothes, the car, the job, the money...
In a society where the ruthless assholes get everything they want, being a nice guy will only get you shit on.
So fuck it.
I don't want to be a nice guy anymore.
I want to think about me. What I want. What I need.
Because apparently caring about what other people want doesn't get you anything but shit on.
So fuck it.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
-KOS
-added at 3:30 am-
Ok, so I guess I am still a nice guy no matter what, but i am going to get what i want, and i am not going to let people stand in my way.
I was talking to Jenna. I'm supposed to hang out with Zephyer all day tomorrow, and she asked me "why do you do that to yourself?"
I didn't know...
so I thought about it...and realized...
I do it to feel.
I tend to put myself in painful situations so I can feel. So I know I am alive.
Without emotions...whether good or bad, we are not truly alive. I keep myself "alive" with pain...
It's fucked up, I know...
but apparently it works.