So today was supposed to be the class of 2002 reunion. I am class of 2000, but most of my friends i high school were 2002.
So they decided they were having their own picnic type thing...but to be honest...in the 12 years since I graduated, we have all grown apart and I did not want to go...so I told them I couldn't.
Last thing I wanted to do was hear about how awesome their lives are...since all of them are doing well...
They are all skinnier or in better shape and have awesome jobs...
while I have gained 120 lbs and work at a fucking shitty hotel.
So I skipped it.
Well...they all popped in to work to say high to me...
I will admit...it was nice to see them...but now I feel like shit for the above things.
The biggest one is my ex. She (until now with Christine) was the longest relationship I had.
2.5 years.
I really did think I would marry her...and it didn't happen.
Well...
she looks amazing. And she's happy...
and honestly...while I really do try to think more about the good things in my life...I am, deep down inside, miserable.
I live in a tiny ass apartment that is technically 2 rooms. I make roughly $1080 a month...
now factor in $100-120 a month in credit card bills, $130 phone bill and $800 rent I pay...
Yeah...financially I am FUCKED.
Boss won't give me more hours...instead he hires new people and keeps us all at 32 hours or under...
and keep in mind, I am the highest paid here other than the maintenance guy.
I am 30...I am 5'8" and I weigh (on a good day...aka dehydrated) 358 lbs.
Fucking pathetic...
Sorry for the depressing entry.
I'm just...all kinds of existential tonight...
I gotta get my shit in order.
-Me
So they decided they were having their own picnic type thing...but to be honest...in the 12 years since I graduated, we have all grown apart and I did not want to go...so I told them I couldn't.
Last thing I wanted to do was hear about how awesome their lives are...since all of them are doing well...
They are all skinnier or in better shape and have awesome jobs...
while I have gained 120 lbs and work at a fucking shitty hotel.
So I skipped it.
Well...they all popped in to work to say high to me...
I will admit...it was nice to see them...but now I feel like shit for the above things.
The biggest one is my ex. She (until now with Christine) was the longest relationship I had.
2.5 years.
I really did think I would marry her...and it didn't happen.
Well...
she looks amazing. And she's happy...
and honestly...while I really do try to think more about the good things in my life...I am, deep down inside, miserable.
I live in a tiny ass apartment that is technically 2 rooms. I make roughly $1080 a month...
now factor in $100-120 a month in credit card bills, $130 phone bill and $800 rent I pay...
Yeah...financially I am FUCKED.
Boss won't give me more hours...instead he hires new people and keeps us all at 32 hours or under...
and keep in mind, I am the highest paid here other than the maintenance guy.
I am 30...I am 5'8" and I weigh (on a good day...aka dehydrated) 358 lbs.
Fucking pathetic...
Sorry for the depressing entry.
I'm just...all kinds of existential tonight...
I gotta get my shit in order.
-Me
dryad:
Sometimes you need a little kick in the pants to get things moving. Maybe this was yours.