I wish my ex would understand how damaging on me it is to always feel inadequate and second best. Good enough to lean on all the time, but never good enough to actually get back together. This boy friend sucks, that boyfriend sucks, and you're too nice to me. She asked me if she was the reason I didn't really date anyone seriously anymore after she cheated on this boyfriend with me and we were cuddling because she felt guilty. It happened, she broke down, I tried to help, then things got intimate in the conversation and she turned it all around on me. Asked her if I still loved her even though she knows that. I just can't say it in person. I refuse to be that vulnerable face to face when I am vulnerable all the other times. Constantly trying to do what I want for her and then trying to make up where everyone else in her life has failed is draining. I empathize with Atlas. Slowly I want less and less in my life but her. Her son is perfect as well. I was so glad when he remembered me. I worry more about confusing him in the fantasy of us getting back together than anything else.
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