helltotheno

So I have moved on. Mostly.


I just watched the season finale of Dexter and cried like a baby. I'm sort of still crying. I'm going to start reading the first book today even though it seems kind of silly to. I'm glad to be done with all of my shopping already but I feel like I shouldn't be sitting around doing nothing. It's so rare that I get to these days that there's no way i'm passing up on it. But there's so much I could do. Like clean. Or prepare mail. Fix my bike. I could go on and on.
I'll probably end up showering and then reading in bed all day.

Lately I've been feeling like this life I've got all planned out for myself is the absolute wrong one. This isn't the first time this has happened and I'm starting to wonder if i'll ever be comfortable. Or sure.
The worst thing about it is that I think if he had been sure when I was, I still would be but now I think maybe his being unsure has convinced me not to be either. Waiting around for decisions to be made is not for me. It inspires a get up and run thing. I'm no good at waiting for anything really and the longer I have to wait for something the less I end up wanting it when/if it becomes available.

I'm tired of always having to move on. I want something to last. Anything that I care about at all.