As much as it kills me, I gotta put all my memories behind me and only think about them at special times. I am finally moving out of the apartment. Going back home. I love him very much still, and I hope he knows that.
So today we actually talked on a normal level and hung out. We both needed to earands and we did them together and we got lunch too. I felt happy for once in a long time. He is such a great kid.
And I got my snake bites done!!! YAY!
Currently Listening: Radiohead.
And I got my snake bites done!!! YAY!
Currently Listening: Radiohead.
deny:
Hey girlie... I'm glad you two can at least get along as friends. That's the only thing that sucks about having your best friend as a boyfriend... 
That was probably the most difficult decision I've had to make in my ENTIRE life was leaving mine. I mean the relationship sucked at the end but, he was still my best friend. I got horribly depressed afterwards. Argh... Dudes!! Radiohead is the shit!! Awesome new piercings... You need to post some pictures!! Take care lovely girl!!
That was probably the most difficult decision I've had to make in my ENTIRE life was leaving mine. I mean the relationship sucked at the end but, he was still my best friend. I got horribly depressed afterwards. Argh... Dudes!! Radiohead is the shit!! Awesome new piercings... You need to post some pictures!! Take care lovely girl!!
I wish someone would tell me what was wrong with him. They know better than I do. He walks around and ignores me. He is so distant. I don't understand.
Anyway, Slayer on the 31st. I wonder if I can still get tickets. I want to go so bad.
Anyway, Slayer on the 31st. I wonder if I can still get tickets. I want to go so bad.
I am watching my favorite movie and this quote really makes me think:
"My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy...
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"My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
societyspliers:
I'm so sorry about what you'r going through. You can get through it.
deny:
Hello sweetie... How are you feeling?? You said that you lived together... Do you have somewhere you can go to get away from there?? I hope you're doing O.K. Boys can be so dumb sometimes. BTW, I saw your pictures of frontmen you like and Danzig is fn hott!! So are Trent and Marilyn... But, I'm old skool, I've listened to Danzig ever since I was a teenager.
hellolondon:
all my funny pictures
I have no ambition to do anything right now. Nothing. I am just lying on the futon in the living. I some how fell asleep there.
I think Pas and Shayna (my roomate and her boyfriend) put me there. I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing.
He drove himself home drunk in the CRX, and I have never been so mad at...
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I think Pas and Shayna (my roomate and her boyfriend) put me there. I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing.
He drove himself home drunk in the CRX, and I have never been so mad at...
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psythos:
Oh wow.. you've any idea how long he lived here? I pretty much kept to myself growing up but I'm curious none the less.
psythos:
I see.. small world I know but Garland of all places.. maybe I'm just envious of him. Been in this hell hole all my life, if I had a way out I'd take it. I'm too hot-blooded to move north any, and Texas is about as south as it gets. (rolls eyes)
So, we broke up on Saturday night. It was awful. I have never felt like this before. I have been physically sick, can't eat anything without it coming back up. I have been shaking, not because I am cold, its because I am so nervous and upset. What is worse about this is that we live together. My stomache is turning, I haven't been sleeping...
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deny:
Trust me, I've been there off and on through a relationship that was just as bad as it was great. If you ever want to talk about it, you know where I am. 
People are so indecisive about what they want. They rarely care about what the other person thinks or feels.
XO
People are so indecisive about what they want. They rarely care about what the other person thinks or feels.
XO
psythos:
..Time brings odd changes in people.. I know this first hand.
It may just be some loner form of thinking that brings it, hell I was the skater punk in school too. I'm just getting over my past relationship, though I didnt know her in school, but I did know her for a year before hand, so I know what it feels like to fall in love.. hard. Not much unlike your b/f, I just.. ended it. Nothing was wrong, I just felt it was out of my hands. Like fate or something. I've grown up a lot, just by being apart from her, like I was.. misguided in my over focus of love over life. I did however, find myself. Redefined myself. A new beginning and rebirth in my heart I couldnt have done if I stayed with her. I would have hurt her in all my self-destructive soul searching. Ya know, I could be way off but maybe hes doing the same, sorting his thoughts, his spirit.
"Times change, people change." Its a mantra I kept repeating to justify my actions, which I often saw as premature, but infact I was wrong in delaying so much, because now I cant go back to her. I waited too long, and honestly love.. no matter how enduring, does indeed have a shelf life. This upcoming Febuary 20th will mark my first year without her. It wasnt long after, I lost my childhood friend to illness. Then, countless dollars to make up for both of these losses, moving home and cremation, my savings depleted. Countless tears and so much loss.. yeah.. I know how it is.
And I know loss comes wave for wave, nonstop and heartless in its action, but take your strength in knowing that through your tears, you will become a stronger person, both mentally and spiritually. Heh.. I'm a libra, I know better then anyone that these things have a balance, and times filled with love and joy will once again find its way to you, to make up for all the tears. All I ask is you hold steady, and dont give up on him, he'll find his light yet.
I know you know the song. 'Beside You In Time'.
"Everything is back where it belongs. I will be beside you before long.."
He found his place, his missing peices. He did so alone so he wouldnt hurt her, or hold her back. Now he journeys back to her safety, that is, if she would have him..
It may just be some loner form of thinking that brings it, hell I was the skater punk in school too. I'm just getting over my past relationship, though I didnt know her in school, but I did know her for a year before hand, so I know what it feels like to fall in love.. hard. Not much unlike your b/f, I just.. ended it. Nothing was wrong, I just felt it was out of my hands. Like fate or something. I've grown up a lot, just by being apart from her, like I was.. misguided in my over focus of love over life. I did however, find myself. Redefined myself. A new beginning and rebirth in my heart I couldnt have done if I stayed with her. I would have hurt her in all my self-destructive soul searching. Ya know, I could be way off but maybe hes doing the same, sorting his thoughts, his spirit.
"Times change, people change." Its a mantra I kept repeating to justify my actions, which I often saw as premature, but infact I was wrong in delaying so much, because now I cant go back to her. I waited too long, and honestly love.. no matter how enduring, does indeed have a shelf life. This upcoming Febuary 20th will mark my first year without her. It wasnt long after, I lost my childhood friend to illness. Then, countless dollars to make up for both of these losses, moving home and cremation, my savings depleted. Countless tears and so much loss.. yeah.. I know how it is.
And I know loss comes wave for wave, nonstop and heartless in its action, but take your strength in knowing that through your tears, you will become a stronger person, both mentally and spiritually. Heh.. I'm a libra, I know better then anyone that these things have a balance, and times filled with love and joy will once again find its way to you, to make up for all the tears.
All I ask is you hold steady, and dont give up on him, he'll find his light yet.
I know you know the song. 'Beside You In Time'.
"Everything is back where it belongs. I will be beside you before long.."
He found his place, his missing peices. He did so alone so he wouldnt hurt her, or hold her back. Now he journeys back to her safety, that is, if she would have him..
hellolondon:
When We Were Happy
Another awful night at work, and honestly I am going to have to start looking for another job. Mom and dad don't know how much longer we are going to be able to keep our doors open. I don't want to lose the restaurant, but we might. It is really breaking dad's heart, and the stress is killing him.
It is cold and I can't...
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It is cold and I can't...
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ongoingnightmare:
awww well that sucks how long have you guys,had that restaurant?
i agree this cold sucks , i hope its still not here for slayer
i agree this cold sucks , i hope its still not here for slayer
Today was so cold. Even though the sun was so bright, it was freezing. Even the kitchen I work in was freezing. When I got outside to start my car it had started snowing...again, four weeks in a row. The temperature will reach 9 below over night. Great.
Any way, work was slow...really slow. That was my day...just work.
Currently Listening: Tool.
Any way, work was slow...really slow. That was my day...just work.
Currently Listening: Tool.
ongoingnightmare:
hell yeah its cold . atleast this snow is not sticking
I must say that this is the best thing I could have spent money on in a long time. That and buying a new bra, which is horrible to do. I really can't stand the fact if you have big tatas, you have buy the most expensive bra you can find, because cheap is not in the cards.
Currently Listening: Bauhaus.
Currently Listening: Bauhaus.
mrmuller:
Well let me say welcome to SG and to Gazongas! 
Best wishes sweetie and have a great weekend!!