Today started out not so great.....I accidentally set my alarm clock to PM not AM so I woke up to the sound of Mr. Hoover talking to the man who was fixing my sidewalk. Since my bed is right next to the window in the front of my house on the 3rd floor i could hear their whole conversation. It wasn't bad or anything but I should have been awake and just coming home from the gym and getting in the shower. Which now I had no time for.
I told Ariel last night that he could pick me up after he went downtown to pick Sage up. It was Sage's first time to Primex and well Ar wanted me to meet the baby. Ok.
I was a little nervous because I get attached WAY too easily. For a (newly) 20-year old girl that situation is KINDA scary. I thought to my self "hey you won't get attached emotionally if you just go with him and stand by his side and be supportive while everyone gets their turn to hold him and compliment how freaking adorable he is." Well after I said I didn't want to hold him yet Ariel asked why - I shruged. I didn't want to discuss it at work. SO he asked a few more times..."are you sure you don't want to hold him" while dangling Sage in front of me. So then he practically sits him on my lap. He is so adorable...Ar is still holding him right on me like I am practically holding him. He looks up at me with his huge eyes and gives me this HUGE smile. Then Ariel follows that with "He likes you." This makes me sad - because NOW I DO want to hold him. BADLY. The way it is with me is that I wouldn't just hold him for like a minute and pass him on I would want to hold him for a while. After he dropped me off I just felt so bad for not holding him. I kind of fear I hurt Ariel's feelings and I didn't get a chance to explain. He didnt't seem mad or anything he looked SO happy the whole time which in turn made me very happy. I don't think he is upset I just feel bad and wish I didn't act like that. It was just my way of avoiding feelings. I try to put walls up but I am SO completely bad at that. Everyone sees right through me! Although sometimes I can not tall someone how I truely feel...Depending on the situation.
I am however very happy right now. I had to go through a few obstacles the past few months with my health which also caused some emotional obstacles. Thankfully my helth is good - back to normal. I also had to go through a few obstacles with my relationship - which I am happy to say I survived. I have tried being stong and very understanding and I find it has worked out well. Currently things are good and I am happy. I just hope the new year will bring great things for me, my boy, my great fucking friends (they SURELY deserve it), and well my family! My mom is so amazing! I am not a girl who loathes the fact she might turn out like her mother - no not at all. If I turn out to be half the woman my mother is then I will be one lucky bitch!
Sorry for the long post if you actually kept reading. I have alot on my mind.
A WHOLE LOT more than that but I need to do some things before I go visit my roomate Emiy tonight.
PS. tomorrow is Emily's Birfday!
Peace out. - oh and have a very happy holiday season to everyone!
<3 jenny
I told Ariel last night that he could pick me up after he went downtown to pick Sage up. It was Sage's first time to Primex and well Ar wanted me to meet the baby. Ok.
I was a little nervous because I get attached WAY too easily. For a (newly) 20-year old girl that situation is KINDA scary. I thought to my self "hey you won't get attached emotionally if you just go with him and stand by his side and be supportive while everyone gets their turn to hold him and compliment how freaking adorable he is." Well after I said I didn't want to hold him yet Ariel asked why - I shruged. I didn't want to discuss it at work. SO he asked a few more times..."are you sure you don't want to hold him" while dangling Sage in front of me. So then he practically sits him on my lap. He is so adorable...Ar is still holding him right on me like I am practically holding him. He looks up at me with his huge eyes and gives me this HUGE smile. Then Ariel follows that with "He likes you." This makes me sad - because NOW I DO want to hold him. BADLY. The way it is with me is that I wouldn't just hold him for like a minute and pass him on I would want to hold him for a while. After he dropped me off I just felt so bad for not holding him. I kind of fear I hurt Ariel's feelings and I didn't get a chance to explain. He didnt't seem mad or anything he looked SO happy the whole time which in turn made me very happy. I don't think he is upset I just feel bad and wish I didn't act like that. It was just my way of avoiding feelings. I try to put walls up but I am SO completely bad at that. Everyone sees right through me! Although sometimes I can not tall someone how I truely feel...Depending on the situation.
I am however very happy right now. I had to go through a few obstacles the past few months with my health which also caused some emotional obstacles. Thankfully my helth is good - back to normal. I also had to go through a few obstacles with my relationship - which I am happy to say I survived. I have tried being stong and very understanding and I find it has worked out well. Currently things are good and I am happy. I just hope the new year will bring great things for me, my boy, my great fucking friends (they SURELY deserve it), and well my family! My mom is so amazing! I am not a girl who loathes the fact she might turn out like her mother - no not at all. If I turn out to be half the woman my mother is then I will be one lucky bitch!
Sorry for the long post if you actually kept reading. I have alot on my mind.
A WHOLE LOT more than that but I need to do some things before I go visit my roomate Emiy tonight.
PS. tomorrow is Emily's Birfday!
Peace out. - oh and have a very happy holiday season to everyone!
<3 jenny
this is what I'm into...
I like the color orange, I watch gilmore girls on tuesday nights, sometimes i like to smoke the ganj and eat alot of food and pass out...
stuff like that.