hellabella

I'm home. Just not in one piece emotionally. My mother took every opportunity to remind me of what a fat, useless, piece of shit I am. This went from unnecessary and out-of-nowhere comments to refusing to get lunch for me while everyone else ate, then handing me 2 small pieces of her food and saying that was all I "need". So, when the rest of my (extended) family fed me, seeing how she was treating me, I ate a LOT. I gained seven pounds in 5 days. I have not done that since I was a compulsive over-eater. I'm going to eat raw vegan for a while. Just because I now feel so disgusting, repulsive, and like everyone in public is staring at me whispering, "Look at that FAT COW!"