i picked up about 10 bucks worth of 2007 magazines at the library the other day. so lately every sentence that comes out of my mouth starts with "i read this article..." and since my friends are sick of hearing it, you are the lucky recipients of these vast reams of useless knowledge. for example...
i read an article in psychology today about how you shouldn't put too many specifics, especially about your personal tastes in music, movies, books, etc. in online profiles. the article was about dating specifically, but it made me think of all those times when i've seen one of the top 10 lists on here and thought 'seriously? that's your favorite book? jeezy creezy. that's the worst book in the world.' or something along those lines. there's one particular artist that i see on the majority of top 10 lists on here, and i find myself getting ridiculously uppity about seeing his name so many times. even tho most of the people i really love have completely different tastes in music, books, art than i do. i think dating in yer 20's is all about these kinds of arbitrary distinctions because we don't really know who the hell we are yet, and we think that our music/book/dvd collection is who we are.
this is what the article said:
Looking to find a date online? If you want to cast a wide net, keep your profile vague. You're often much more appealing when people get to fill in the blanks with what they hope to find, imagining their ideal mate.
But we tend to like people similar to ourselves, and more often than not, the dissimilarities begin to pile up as two people get cozy, according to research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. When we don't find the traits we were expecting, we feel let down. Our affections wane, and we're less likely to give the relationship a chance.
Further, when we detect dissimilarities early on, we interpret later signals as evidence of further disparity. So if you're listing your traits or favorite bands, name the ones people can identify with most easily first, and the later ones will seem less off-putting.
Although high hopes may lead to disappointment, there's an upside to staying (sensibly) optimistic: It keeps us motivated to meet new people. "The takeaway is not to give up, or even lower your standards drastically, but to be more realistic with what you expect out of a first date," says lead researcher Michael Norton of Harvard. "You'll be less likely to be disappointed and more likely to give each other a chance."
huh. the interwebs is weird. on the plus side, it provides me with endless entertainment, like this:
short-legged horse sparks repeated rescue attempts
how kyuuuuute is that? insanely so. also, the preponderance of craigslist ads looking for somebody to make out with or snuggle makes me happy in a bittersweet kind of way. i'm sure some are just too scurred to come out and say they want to hook up, but i'll bet a lot of them really are just kinda lonely and want to snuggle on the couch and make out. how did we all get to be so unable to connect in everyday life to the point where we're posting classifieds ads for snuggling? no judgment tho. if i were unattached i would be craving that oxytocin too. and making out, well, that has to be one of the very best things on earth, right next to hostess donettes and crisp autumn nights.
maybe that should be the only top ten list on dating sites: your favorite things, period. i don't think i could date somebody who didn't list making out somewhere in there.
i read an article in psychology today about how you shouldn't put too many specifics, especially about your personal tastes in music, movies, books, etc. in online profiles. the article was about dating specifically, but it made me think of all those times when i've seen one of the top 10 lists on here and thought 'seriously? that's your favorite book? jeezy creezy. that's the worst book in the world.' or something along those lines. there's one particular artist that i see on the majority of top 10 lists on here, and i find myself getting ridiculously uppity about seeing his name so many times. even tho most of the people i really love have completely different tastes in music, books, art than i do. i think dating in yer 20's is all about these kinds of arbitrary distinctions because we don't really know who the hell we are yet, and we think that our music/book/dvd collection is who we are.
this is what the article said:
Looking to find a date online? If you want to cast a wide net, keep your profile vague. You're often much more appealing when people get to fill in the blanks with what they hope to find, imagining their ideal mate.
But we tend to like people similar to ourselves, and more often than not, the dissimilarities begin to pile up as two people get cozy, according to research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. When we don't find the traits we were expecting, we feel let down. Our affections wane, and we're less likely to give the relationship a chance.
Further, when we detect dissimilarities early on, we interpret later signals as evidence of further disparity. So if you're listing your traits or favorite bands, name the ones people can identify with most easily first, and the later ones will seem less off-putting.
Although high hopes may lead to disappointment, there's an upside to staying (sensibly) optimistic: It keeps us motivated to meet new people. "The takeaway is not to give up, or even lower your standards drastically, but to be more realistic with what you expect out of a first date," says lead researcher Michael Norton of Harvard. "You'll be less likely to be disappointed and more likely to give each other a chance."
huh. the interwebs is weird. on the plus side, it provides me with endless entertainment, like this:
short-legged horse sparks repeated rescue attempts
how kyuuuuute is that? insanely so. also, the preponderance of craigslist ads looking for somebody to make out with or snuggle makes me happy in a bittersweet kind of way. i'm sure some are just too scurred to come out and say they want to hook up, but i'll bet a lot of them really are just kinda lonely and want to snuggle on the couch and make out. how did we all get to be so unable to connect in everyday life to the point where we're posting classifieds ads for snuggling? no judgment tho. if i were unattached i would be craving that oxytocin too. and making out, well, that has to be one of the very best things on earth, right next to hostess donettes and crisp autumn nights.
maybe that should be the only top ten list on dating sites: your favorite things, period. i don't think i could date somebody who didn't list making out somewhere in there.
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Don't get me started on my celebrity crushes we will be here all night. And there was no one on Serenity that I wouldn't have fucked. Even Book. Mmhmm!