hedonisticnihil

"the West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do."
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Samuel P. Huntington

Read the man's blog that suicide has so gracefully put up a link.

here is another quote by charles fort, and maybe it contains some insight as well....
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Sometimes life comes at me with tragedy piled on tragedy. Regardless of what choice I seem to make somekind of blood is spilled either literally or figuratively. I feel beated not until submission, no that would be to kind by life, but rather acceptance. I wait for the next turn of events with dread. I ask, "what's next?" Sometime laughter hides in every action, ready...
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I am volunteer for Washington NARAL (I have been for now over 5 months) , tonight was a big event for raising money for that old non-profit. Chocolate for Choice. It was also a celebration of the 30th aniversary of Roe vs. Wade, which is very likely going to be overturned in the next few years, and going from a federal matter to a state...
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I write oh I write endlessly. I am losing something with each word I put on the page, each sentance adding to a collective loss of my identity. The price, oh the price, of my piece. The good news is that i might be able to find a location in late summer or early autumn, It makes working on the drafts more and more bearable....
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The first draft of my play is done, This excites me! I of course still have billion rewrites to do, but to have finished that first draft is to accomplish something.
Well St. Skippy day is coming up, better known as Valentine's day. For some this depresses for others it is elation. I am in neither category. i have been single for nearly 3 years....
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Well happy new year! I do not know how many times one offers this exclaimation before it gets too old. I hope i have not crossed that threshold. so far 03 hasn't put a trinkle in my eye, but then it hasn't made me reach for my razors, to shuffle off this mortal coil, either.
Too much elliot smith, i reckon.
On the suicide front,...
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I have returned home to my burg of Seattle. I enjoyed the famila. I have celebrated this homecoming by seeing my very good friend lukafresh. We ate and drank, and separated our ways. I am now drinking my ownsome. I have downed a shot of Crater Lake Vodka. I really only drink the good shit. I know it will hit soon enough. I am on...
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Well happy holidays, and a merrry christmas. i read a few journals today. They said it didn't feel like christmas because of numerous things. Well put me in that category as well. it never feels like christmas here in so-cali. no snow, no i don't know christmas spirit. well here is too a charles dickenson like event for all you wonderful people out there, and...
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So the finals are done.

Only two more quarters left for my undergrad career,
but i fear sometime in the distant future my master awaits, but for now it can wait.

So i am going to cali for christmas to see my very divorced folks. I GET TO BE A PING PONG BALL! yeah!

i almost got drunk last night...almost.,.but i stopped way in the...
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So i am drunk as skunk issack brock,

i have had 6 beers, a shot of vodka, and 1 and half of wine. we had our annual christmas fondue party. it is all fun and games into someone puts our eyes out. i love that louise made a "say anything" reference. when you're are drunk or high you think you are being so fucking profound...
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So finals are almost done. I got done with the hard stuff. My directing project went well. It is so hard to just not freak out the actors about the actors not doing everythng exact doing their performance. I guess the good thing is the audience laughed during the funny parts, and were silent during the serious parts. I will miss working with my actors....
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This is the part of the journal where i write something profound:

profound.

Final papers and projects are just keeping down, put i still have the post-lethargic turkey day hangover. i can't concentrate on them. meanwhile my mind is wrapped around this girl that gives me butterflies.

that's right butterflies. i haven't gotten those from a female in over 3 years. yet i have this...
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