heckler

Okays
Time for an update
First of all thanks for all the kind comments left on both my & Marvel's blogs
I'll hopefully have the time to reply individually in the next few days
Right now things are totally up in the air. It's a stressful & complicated situation for both of us but we're trying to deal with things as best as we...
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I tried to prove that good guys can win
I dared to look forward to a future where I had everything I'd ever dreamed of & so so much more.

well it looks like I was wrong
Good guys don't win & I should have stuck to the belief I had 18 months ago, that I'd spend the rest of my life alone

I think...
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Thanks for the comments on my last blog.
It probably made me sound worse than I actually was, when I get down I tend to get the urge to go on a bit of a rant.
I have been having a rough time over the last week & a bit, but today I decided I wasn't gonna let it get to me any more, at...
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I've kinda settled down a little now from the extremes of anxiety I was feeling earlier in the week. But I'm not sure if it's better or worse. I think actually "settled" is the wrong word, "slumped" may be a better description. The fear is still there, the panic is still lurking under the surface, but I think I've just run out of energy to...
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I've been a bit of a mess today

okay a lot of a mess

Thing should be so straight forward, but they're not, & sometimes it's just hard to cope
This is one of those times.

But tomorrow is a new day
& as my grandmother used to tell me
whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I hope she's right

I have the best...
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I often wonder where I'd me if I'd done things differently in the past
If I'd worked harder at school, if I hadn't been so painfully shy throughout my childhood. If' I'd been capable of asking for help when I needed it, If I'd had more, hell if I'd had any, self confidence.
I mean I'm an intelligent guy, the few IQ tests I've taken...
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some vids of bands I watched over the weekend in no particular order the quality of some bands is better than others

I'm home

I prefer festivaland over real life

Can I go back please?

All it was missing was Marvel

I'm leaving in a few hours for the yearly week of drinking & music known as the Download Festival
the forecast isn't great which is a pain..lots of showers & stuff but I'll survive I'm sure

should anyone feel like watching any of the main stage bands over the weekend they're having a live webcast

& this is the line up

I'll be back on...
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The weather here has kinda matched my mood the last week or so..or maybe it's my mood that's matching the weather? who knows.
Right now as I look out of the window I see the trees bending over under the strength of the wind, I can hear the roar as the gusts force their way through the new green leaves. I can see the rain...
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