The weather here has kinda matched my mood the last week or so..or maybe it's my mood that's matching the weather? who knows.
Right now as I look out of the window I see the trees bending over under the strength of the wind, I can hear the roar as the gusts force their way through the new green leaves. I can see the rain falling from the black clouds to strike the pavement, I can see the trickles of water joining together to form puddles & then it all changes. The sun breaks through the darkness, the anger in the sky dissipates & within a few short minutes the world is transformed. The sunlight glints of the water covered surfaces, the water droplets that shake loose from the trees are like little falling stars. The birds all start singing & everything comes alive.
Just like the weather I'm not really one thing or the other right now. I'm a mish-mash of conflicting emotions. One minute I'm feeling on top of the world. I'm singing, smiling & I'm as happy as I've ever been & the next I'm feeling lost, kinda spaced out, drifting like I don;t really know what I want.
But of course I DO know what I want. It's just hard to deal with the waiting.
I know what my goals are. I know where I want to be, I know where I belong. I know that everything I could ever have imagined I wanted in life & more, is waiting for me. But right now there's nothing I can DO to bring it any closer.
Sometimes knowing what what I will have is enough to keep me feeling untouchable. Other times it's just frustrating to have it so close & yet still so far away.
I've said to her on many occasions that I'd wait forever to be with her & I truly mean it. We're destined to be together however long it takes. But every second of that wait is so so so frustrating.
Truly the only thing that matters to me is being with her. Right now that means talking to her whenever possible for as long as possible. I hate saying goodbye to her. I'd talk to her every second of everyday if I could. She is the only thing I ever think about.
You could say I love her
but that really wouldn't do it justice
In other news it's less than a month till the Download festival. It's kind of a rocktastic affair this year
I've been to every festival held on this site since 1988 
which makes me feel really damn old I can tell you
It should hopefully bee good fun & I'll be praying for the weather to improve a bit by then too
other than that it's life as usual in hecklerland
I'm walking the dogs, running or cycling when I have the energy (this damn virus is still lurking but doesn't seem to be quite as severe, thankfully) I'm making an effort to cut out the junk food after my weight kinda ballooned (by my standards anyway
) I finally sorted through all my old clothes & dumped what I don't need. The other piles of junk are still around though..one thing at a time
& that's really it other than to say I finally wore a suit...outside of the house. for the first time EVER a couple of weeks ago, at my cousins wedding
I think my family is still recovering from the shock at that
that's it for now
I'll leave you with a video of one of my all time favourite bands. They'll be at Download & I'll be at the front watching them
sorry for the crappy quality it was the only version I could find
Right now as I look out of the window I see the trees bending over under the strength of the wind, I can hear the roar as the gusts force their way through the new green leaves. I can see the rain falling from the black clouds to strike the pavement, I can see the trickles of water joining together to form puddles & then it all changes. The sun breaks through the darkness, the anger in the sky dissipates & within a few short minutes the world is transformed. The sunlight glints of the water covered surfaces, the water droplets that shake loose from the trees are like little falling stars. The birds all start singing & everything comes alive.
Just like the weather I'm not really one thing or the other right now. I'm a mish-mash of conflicting emotions. One minute I'm feeling on top of the world. I'm singing, smiling & I'm as happy as I've ever been & the next I'm feeling lost, kinda spaced out, drifting like I don;t really know what I want.
But of course I DO know what I want. It's just hard to deal with the waiting.
I know what my goals are. I know where I want to be, I know where I belong. I know that everything I could ever have imagined I wanted in life & more, is waiting for me. But right now there's nothing I can DO to bring it any closer.
Sometimes knowing what what I will have is enough to keep me feeling untouchable. Other times it's just frustrating to have it so close & yet still so far away.
I've said to her on many occasions that I'd wait forever to be with her & I truly mean it. We're destined to be together however long it takes. But every second of that wait is so so so frustrating.
Truly the only thing that matters to me is being with her. Right now that means talking to her whenever possible for as long as possible. I hate saying goodbye to her. I'd talk to her every second of everyday if I could. She is the only thing I ever think about.
You could say I love her
but that really wouldn't do it justice
In other news it's less than a month till the Download festival. It's kind of a rocktastic affair this year
I've been to every festival held on this site since 1988 which makes me feel really damn old I can tell you
It should hopefully bee good fun & I'll be praying for the weather to improve a bit by then too
other than that it's life as usual in hecklerland
I'm walking the dogs, running or cycling when I have the energy (this damn virus is still lurking but doesn't seem to be quite as severe, thankfully) I'm making an effort to cut out the junk food after my weight kinda ballooned (by my standards anyway
) I finally sorted through all my old clothes & dumped what I don't need. The other piles of junk are still around though..one thing at a time
& that's really it other than to say I finally wore a suit...outside of the house. for the first time EVER a couple of weeks ago, at my cousins wedding
I think my family is still recovering from the shock at that
that's it for now
I'll leave you with a video of one of my all time favourite bands. They'll be at Download & I'll be at the front watching them
sorry for the crappy quality it was the only version I could find
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thanks