Before I start I'd just like take a moment to dedicate this blog to my beautiful, sweet & adorable fiancee Marvel who's never stopped bugging & harassing me for the last 2 1/2 months since my last blog to get another one written 
This ones for you baby
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm where to start
It's actually difficult to know how to go about writing this, not because I have so much to say but because if I'm brutally honest my life has been rather dull for most of that time.
Right now my life is all about waiting.....It's kinda like the whole things just been left on standby. I'm going through the motions mainly because I have no choice. I know what I want out of my life now, which is a rather odd feeling for me I have to say
but to get that all I can do is wait...& wait...& wait
Work is dull & unexciting but incredibly busy. I mean I thought there was supposed to be a recession going on?? & yet the place I work has been busier than ever!!! I'm working a 46 hour week, 30 of which I spend on my own. I'm kinda torn about that though, one part of me is happy not to be working with anyone, it means I can do things my way without having to worry about anyone else. It means I can spend time chatting to Marvel, if she's awake, during work. But it also means I have pretty much no free time at all, It really is incessant sometimes to the point where it leaves me totally exhausted. Not helped by the fact I still have that damn virus, which I'm pretty convinced is glandular fever. it comes & goes, some days I feel on top of the world, full of energy& basically like my old self. On others I have the energy but my glands are horribly swollen & feel pretty uncomfortable & on the rest I have no energy at all. The only word to describe it is "exhaustion". You know that feeling where you've pushed yourself physically till there's nothing else to give? where your whole body is trembling & crying out due to decimated blood sugar levels? Well on the worst days I feel like that from the moment I get out of bed in the morning, till the moment I fall asleep at night.
Thankfully it rarely lasts more than a day or two at a time. It's tougher to cope with mentally than physically. The constant swings from feeling good to awful & everything in between is starting to wear me down a touch.
Right now the glands in my neck are quite swollen & painful but I'm trying to hold off on the drugs. I hate taking pills at the best of times so I only take them when I really need them.
Reading that back it sounds totally horrible & that I feel yucky constantly
which is actually far from the truth. I've actually been feeling pretty good overall the last few weeks 
I mean how could I not be happy when I look this good in a top hat
Talking of which I need to decide what to wear with the above hat when Marvel & myself finally tie the knot?
My first instinct when we started planning things was to keep things casual-ish It's only gonna be a small ceremony, just the 2 of us a & few close family members, but the top hat kinda changed my thinking a little. I certainly don;t wanna go down the "traditional, stereotypical" route. I wanna do something that's a bit different, & hopefully not look like an idiot doing it
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated... I'm at a bit of an impasse
Truth be told I've had enough with the planning & imagining & the looking forward to it. I just wanna marry her
She's everything I want & need in life
& more than I ever thought I would find
I want to spend the rest of my days by her side, it's as simple as that. I know it'll happen..but the waiting...the waiting...it hurts. It's not easy to deal with the distance, to deal with the time difference & still maintain a "normal" life. The only thing that truly, truly makes me happy these days is talking to her. I can honestly say she is the only thing I ever think about. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up..(well after "Fucking hell...is it morning already") & the last thing I think of before I sleep at night. Every second I spend away from her I'm counting down the time till we talk again
I really am addicted.
I've always been a total introvert, always preferred my own company rather than being around other people & then she found me & turned that on it's head. Being alone doesn't bring me pleasure anymore, I want to share every moment with her.
I can't wait to make her my wife
I'm so hopelessly in love with her. I can't even begin to attempt to describe it. If you've been there you'll know, if you haven't..I hope you do one day.
I think that's the lovey bit out of the way..for now anyway
Random Stuff
okays here's some stuff I'm doing right now
I'm currently re reading Stephen Donaldson's Gap Cycle which is much better & more accessible than his Thomas Covenant works..which to be honest are almost impossibly hard going
before that I was reading a few of the Dresden Files books. Which are entertaining without being exactly taxing on the brain, which has suited me down to the ground during my brain dead week I've just had
I've been watching a whole load of documentaries recently too. Almost exclusively natural history & I've been loving them. I've hardly watched any other TV although I have been working my way through all the episodes of How I Met Your Mother too
I actually went to see Watchmen last week & I enjoyed it. I knew pretty much nothing about it before going to see it & I thought it was brilliant up to a point. I love "darkness" of it. That all the characters are flawed & actually pretty unlikable in most cases. It say's a lot for the characterisations that you end up caring about what happens to them despite that. I've always loved films that are far from black & white in that area, not straightforward good & evil but some murky middle ground. The only negative I'd say about it was that when it started to get more into the "superhero" phase near the end it lost some of it's interest for me. To my eyes at that point in went a little two dimensional.
I guess the big question it poses is a good one? how far would you go to do whats best for mankind as a whole? do the ends justify the means? & once actions have been taken, once the point of no return has been reached, would you hide the truth & sacrifice yourself for the greater good? or is the truth the only thing that really matters in the end?
Very deep & philosophical
One other thing I need to say about it though is thanks to Marvel all I could think for most of the movie was
This ones for you baby
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm where to start
It's actually difficult to know how to go about writing this, not because I have so much to say but because if I'm brutally honest my life has been rather dull for most of that time.
Right now my life is all about waiting.....It's kinda like the whole things just been left on standby. I'm going through the motions mainly because I have no choice. I know what I want out of my life now, which is a rather odd feeling for me I have to say
but to get that all I can do is wait...& wait...& waitWork is dull & unexciting but incredibly busy. I mean I thought there was supposed to be a recession going on?? & yet the place I work has been busier than ever!!! I'm working a 46 hour week, 30 of which I spend on my own. I'm kinda torn about that though, one part of me is happy not to be working with anyone, it means I can do things my way without having to worry about anyone else. It means I can spend time chatting to Marvel, if she's awake, during work. But it also means I have pretty much no free time at all, It really is incessant sometimes to the point where it leaves me totally exhausted. Not helped by the fact I still have that damn virus, which I'm pretty convinced is glandular fever. it comes & goes, some days I feel on top of the world, full of energy& basically like my old self. On others I have the energy but my glands are horribly swollen & feel pretty uncomfortable & on the rest I have no energy at all. The only word to describe it is "exhaustion". You know that feeling where you've pushed yourself physically till there's nothing else to give? where your whole body is trembling & crying out due to decimated blood sugar levels? Well on the worst days I feel like that from the moment I get out of bed in the morning, till the moment I fall asleep at night.
Thankfully it rarely lasts more than a day or two at a time. It's tougher to cope with mentally than physically. The constant swings from feeling good to awful & everything in between is starting to wear me down a touch.
Right now the glands in my neck are quite swollen & painful but I'm trying to hold off on the drugs. I hate taking pills at the best of times so I only take them when I really need them.
Reading that back it sounds totally horrible & that I feel yucky constantly
which is actually far from the truth. I've actually been feeling pretty good overall the last few weeks I mean how could I not be happy when I look this good in a top hat
Talking of which I need to decide what to wear with the above hat when Marvel & myself finally tie the knot?
My first instinct when we started planning things was to keep things casual-ish It's only gonna be a small ceremony, just the 2 of us a & few close family members, but the top hat kinda changed my thinking a little. I certainly don;t wanna go down the "traditional, stereotypical" route. I wanna do something that's a bit different, & hopefully not look like an idiot doing it
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated... I'm at a bit of an impasse
Truth be told I've had enough with the planning & imagining & the looking forward to it. I just wanna marry her
She's everything I want & need in life
& more than I ever thought I would find
I want to spend the rest of my days by her side, it's as simple as that. I know it'll happen..but the waiting...the waiting...it hurts. It's not easy to deal with the distance, to deal with the time difference & still maintain a "normal" life. The only thing that truly, truly makes me happy these days is talking to her. I can honestly say she is the only thing I ever think about. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up..(well after "Fucking hell...is it morning already"
) & the last thing I think of before I sleep at night. Every second I spend away from her I'm counting down the time till we talk againI really am addicted.
I've always been a total introvert, always preferred my own company rather than being around other people & then she found me & turned that on it's head. Being alone doesn't bring me pleasure anymore, I want to share every moment with her.
I can't wait to make her my wife
I'm so hopelessly in love with her. I can't even begin to attempt to describe it. If you've been there you'll know, if you haven't..I hope you do one day.
I think that's the lovey bit out of the way..for now anyway
Random Stuff
okays here's some stuff I'm doing right now
I'm currently re reading Stephen Donaldson's Gap Cycle which is much better & more accessible than his Thomas Covenant works..which to be honest are almost impossibly hard going
before that I was reading a few of the Dresden Files books. Which are entertaining without being exactly taxing on the brain, which has suited me down to the ground during my brain dead week I've just had
I've been watching a whole load of documentaries recently too. Almost exclusively natural history & I've been loving them. I've hardly watched any other TV although I have been working my way through all the episodes of How I Met Your Mother too
I actually went to see Watchmen last week & I enjoyed it. I knew pretty much nothing about it before going to see it & I thought it was brilliant up to a point. I love "darkness" of it. That all the characters are flawed & actually pretty unlikable in most cases. It say's a lot for the characterisations that you end up caring about what happens to them despite that. I've always loved films that are far from black & white in that area, not straightforward good & evil but some murky middle ground. The only negative I'd say about it was that when it started to get more into the "superhero" phase near the end it lost some of it's interest for me. To my eyes at that point in went a little two dimensional.
I guess the big question it poses is a good one? how far would you go to do whats best for mankind as a whole? do the ends justify the means? & once actions have been taken, once the point of no return has been reached, would you hide the truth & sacrifice yourself for the greater good? or is the truth the only thing that really matters in the end?
Very deep & philosophical
One other thing I need to say about it though is thanks to Marvel all I could think for most of the movie was
I'm not sure how may of you have seen Blackadder
but it's one of the greatest comedy shows ever. hidden beneath the spoilers is the final episode which is still one of the most moving bits of TV in existence. Everyone should watch it
so do it now
that's it for now I think
hopefully for Marvel's sake I'll update things a bit faster next time
DISCLAIMERS: It was not my intention to make Marvel sound in anyway bitchy about my lack of recent blogging, it's actually quite adorable how she tries to persuade me it's the right thing to do I do love her so
I can never be bothered to proof read most of the things I write here..so please try not to let the inevitable grammatical & spelling errors detract from your "enjoyment" of this blog.
Joe
EDITED TO SAY Melissa's wedding dress is a fifties style "pinup" type dress.
I guess knowing that will be helpful if I want to try & fit in
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
Maybe if you make a list of Stuff Grooms Wear and then strike off what you definitely WON'T wear, you'll be left with a somewhat more concise list of stuff you'd like to wear? Like a black shirt/top hat/skinny white tie type situation?
I dunno.