"there's a ghost in my room and he says i better run..."
time cannot conceive of a time that it did not exist... yet it did not always exist and time does know this... knowing and understand are two entirely different things you see. and so it is perfectly reasonable and logical to say you know that time knows it once did not exist, and may even cease to exist at some point again... but time cannot conceive this, cannot take it in and make it's absence a part of itself, it cannot understand this. my logical brain knows that time is an inane construct to give a coherent, if asinine, structure to life. time exists so life has a pace... time exists so that he can have memory and history and dysfunction and war. time exists to keep us blind to the fact that there is no "was" and no "soon" and no "almost," "not quite," and "not yet"... time exists to put up barriers, to separate and distinguish between events that all actually happen at the same time, all the time and without start, finish or pause... and then i am throttled back out of near sleep into a full blown panic attack that there is no immediate escape from (because it already happened, i just don't realize it yet)
i haven't slept in over 48 hours
i have been an insomniac my whole life, this is reason 8,399 why
time cannot conceive of a time that it did not exist... yet it did not always exist and time does know this... knowing and understand are two entirely different things you see. and so it is perfectly reasonable and logical to say you know that time knows it once did not exist, and may even cease to exist at some point again... but time cannot conceive this, cannot take it in and make it's absence a part of itself, it cannot understand this. my logical brain knows that time is an inane construct to give a coherent, if asinine, structure to life. time exists so life has a pace... time exists so that he can have memory and history and dysfunction and war. time exists to keep us blind to the fact that there is no "was" and no "soon" and no "almost," "not quite," and "not yet"... time exists to put up barriers, to separate and distinguish between events that all actually happen at the same time, all the time and without start, finish or pause... and then i am throttled back out of near sleep into a full blown panic attack that there is no immediate escape from (because it already happened, i just don't realize it yet)
i haven't slept in over 48 hours
i have been an insomniac my whole life, this is reason 8,399 why
trocc:
i wish i could blame my insomnia on a freefloating spirit
runholden:
I get the "i" once or twice a month.