hearitbeating

hi. i'm new. i'm usually pretty quiet and keep to myself, but i'd like to try to come out of my shell a little bit. i figured this may be a safe place to do just that. i've been suffering from social anxiety my entire life, and i've done pretty well to keep it hidden... that's what we do - keep away from certain situations that may pose a problem when it comes to anxiety. but, lately, this disorder has been in my face like a rabid dog, and not only has it become a burden on my work, but it's ruined a few close personal relationships. not to say, that may be for the best, since those people weren't really supportive enough of me to understand my daily struggle, but i've come to realize that now is the time i must face my demons and finally get help or try to overcome this debilitation of mine. so, to start off , i'm going to just look it in the eyes and spit in it's face, and try to be the person i so desperately want and need to be, and try to be social. this journal entry is my first step in being the new me.