tried to save myself
------------------------but myself keeps slipping away
yea....
...........true that
i can't begin to explain the exact situation i find myself in
i've become complacent with the fact that i'm nothing
i live at home
__________i'm okay with it
i work a dead end shit of a job
------------------------------------its all hunky dory
my friends have turned their backs on me
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++no big deal...
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------------------------but myself keeps slipping away
yea....
...........true that
i can't begin to explain the exact situation i find myself in
i've become complacent with the fact that i'm nothing
i live at home
__________i'm okay with it
i work a dead end shit of a job
------------------------------------its all hunky dory
my friends have turned their backs on me
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++no big deal...
Read More
ahhhhhhhhh
a sigh of relief for money well spent
yes
i'm going to nine inch nails
by myself
for the last possible time - probably for the more-than-foreseeable future
however
the beauty is that a fan sold it to me because he couldn't go
and when i pulled up he said, "hey - i just realized i only paid about $80 for it with fees...
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a sigh of relief for money well spent
yes
i'm going to nine inch nails
by myself
for the last possible time - probably for the more-than-foreseeable future
however
the beauty is that a fan sold it to me because he couldn't go
and when i pulled up he said, "hey - i just realized i only paid about $80 for it with fees...
Read More
what i should have said was nothing
i can't win
every time i try - every time i put effort forth - i get shit in the face
obviously i'm doing something wrong
obviously something is wrong with me
i try to be funny sometimes - and well - i just suck
every time i open my mouth
every time i put forth effort
i...
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i can't win
every time i try - every time i put effort forth - i get shit in the face
obviously i'm doing something wrong
obviously something is wrong with me
i try to be funny sometimes - and well - i just suck
every time i open my mouth
every time i put forth effort
i...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
mummifier:
really that is about it, I have been hanging out with my mom since I haven't been around in so long and doing as much partying as possible. One great thing about being a girl is that you can go to a bar and not really worry about having to buy your own drinks, that works out pretty well for me right now 
I hope that your weekend turns out to be fun, you are so close to the city you should never have a boring weekend. I am really starting to look forward to going to IL because nobody seems to have any weed around here so that is going to be my main mission when I first get to town
I hope that your weekend turns out to be fun, you are so close to the city you should never have a boring weekend. I am really starting to look forward to going to IL because nobody seems to have any weed around here so that is going to be my main mission when I first get to town
mummifier:
The green quest has gone well 
The weather was pretty nice for the weekend, I even went to the Brookfield Zoo on Sunday. It was a blast but as far as the engagement party goes; that was pretty ackward and I really would have rather been anywhere else besides there
The weather was pretty nice for the weekend, I even went to the Brookfield Zoo on Sunday. It was a blast but as far as the engagement party goes; that was pretty ackward and I really would have rather been anywhere else besides theredear god - watching a porn star accepting an award is painful - almost as painful as the last 4 days.
ok - sorry - it was on showtime and i turned on the tv and it was on -
i feel like a bastard for watching it - plus considering everything.
but still - here i sit watching some half assed dance for the...
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mummifier:
I think right here is how you deal with it, your writing is full of emotion. You like to think things out and write them down rather than just spewing word vomit of emotions. I think that is a perfect way for you to deal with things.
No I haven't taken the test yet, I fly to Iowa next week and then drive to Illinois shortly there after for a couple of days and then back to IA for a little while. I don't come back to Cali till the middle of May for a review class, then take the test.
No I haven't taken the test yet, I fly to Iowa next week and then drive to Illinois shortly there after for a couple of days and then back to IA for a little while. I don't come back to Cali till the middle of May for a review class, then take the test.
slipping away
sometimes its tough to find the exact lyrics
so you find substitutes - ones that can stand in
ones that can fill the void of what you truly want to but can't say
all i could think of was
whatever i could say - he already knew
its tough to find the right words
its also tough to watch your grandfather slip away...
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sometimes its tough to find the exact lyrics
so you find substitutes - ones that can stand in
ones that can fill the void of what you truly want to but can't say
all i could think of was
whatever i could say - he already knew
its tough to find the right words
its also tough to watch your grandfather slip away...
Read More
mummifier:
I am sorry to hear that, take care of yourself and your family and you will be in my thoughts. XOXO
jesus is dead.
get over it.
sorry to be blunt in my jewishness - but seriously people - there's an issue that needs addressing - asap.
yes.
easter is an important day to many unlike myself.
however, it means nothing to me.
its a day you go around hunting for chocolate eggs because your savior was crucified (is good friday the day he died -...
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get over it.
sorry to be blunt in my jewishness - but seriously people - there's an issue that needs addressing - asap.
yes.
easter is an important day to many unlike myself.
however, it means nothing to me.
its a day you go around hunting for chocolate eggs because your savior was crucified (is good friday the day he died -...
Read More
mummifier:
I think you are completely justified oh yeah and fuck you religion. Now that I have covered that my weekend was pretty boring I sat around the apartment and watched some movies, did a little walking around other than that I have just been trying to figure out my life. Besides your Easter hating how was everything else? Also I only have yahoo messenger not aim otherwise I would have hopped on there this weekend to talk to you
my weekend was pretty boring I sat around the apartment and watched some movies, did a little walking around other than that I have just been trying to figure out my life. Besides your Easter hating how was everything else? Also I only have yahoo messenger not aim otherwise I would have hopped on there this weekend to talk to youWell - if you want to have a conversation a wise choice would be to text me @ 847-877-6233 or use aim - my sn is healthyparanoid.
Sadly the computer is mia and this is pretty hard to use. Hopefully you see this.
Sadly the computer is mia and this is pretty hard to use. Hopefully you see this.
i can feel it coming on.
its one of those things - you get in weird moods - let your emotions take off.
you are more inclined to go further and do more.
even though i sit here waiting for something to happen - its no different.
i'm worse than broke - i'm overdrawn.
i have a shit job that continually shits on me.
but...
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its one of those things - you get in weird moods - let your emotions take off.
you are more inclined to go further and do more.
even though i sit here waiting for something to happen - its no different.
i'm worse than broke - i'm overdrawn.
i have a shit job that continually shits on me.
but...
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we're in this together now
soooo - i had something significant and profound to say.
maybe one of these days i'll figure out what i was going to say.
otherwise - currently i'm actually reading.
shocking.
soooo - i had something significant and profound to say.
maybe one of these days i'll figure out what i was going to say.
otherwise - currently i'm actually reading.
shocking.
what else could i be?
all apologies.
the shame of it all is that i don't know if there was ever a choice i would/could make differently.
everything has sort of led me to here.
alone.
drinking myself to sleep.
the only enjoyment i get is looking into the fakely glinting eyes of the pornstars i find comforting.
the only connection i seem to make...
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all apologies.
the shame of it all is that i don't know if there was ever a choice i would/could make differently.
everything has sort of led me to here.
alone.
drinking myself to sleep.
the only enjoyment i get is looking into the fakely glinting eyes of the pornstars i find comforting.
the only connection i seem to make...
Read More
mummifier:
I care and it is going to be okay. *hug* (and a small squeeze of the butt, but that one was for me) 
not cool trent.
not cool.
but funny.
but damn - new music would be pretty cool.
but not cool.
not cool.
but funny.
but damn - new music would be pretty cool.
but not cool.
freak out in a moonage daydream
sooooo - i got a new car - if anyone cares - its cool.
i just need places to go and reasons to go there.
hopefully i'll have a new real job soon.
people seem to be responding to my resume - which is awesomeness.
its nice to be wanted.
for once.
sooooo - i got a new car - if anyone cares - its cool.
i just need places to go and reasons to go there.
hopefully i'll have a new real job soon.
people seem to be responding to my resume - which is awesomeness.
its nice to be wanted.
for once.