hazie

so now what... she thinks I like her because she's "un acheivable"


she's not ready to be loved.

ready or not I already do.

but why? really why?

here are some reasons I can come up with off the top of my head:

-she's challenging.
she makes me think, and try much harder than other people. she challenges me, my mind, and my emotions. she's not like everyother girl

-she is beautiful.
She has a perfect body as far as I'm concerned. soft in all the right places... I really love holding her.
She has eyes I could look into all day get lost and never find myself in. she also has the softest lips I've EVER kissed.

-she is NOT perfect.
things from her past have set her up for heartbreak and ache. but I could fix that. I would never leave her. I would never ever break her heart. even though mine would probably be broken on a nightly basis. she see's her self as damaged goods... but sometimes you don't want new things.... I mean take a bed for instance... I like a bed that has a groove.... that is soft... a bed that's been worn into a little bit. I'd prefer that over a new bed. just like I'd prefer her over a girl that knows nothing.

-she knows what she wants, at least in bed.
She's ALREADY done things to me that I wanted to be done but shouldn't have to ask for from whoever I'm with... anyone else ... I would have to ask for things like that... or tell her that I want her to do that. but not her. she already knew.

-she makes me smile.
she makes me laugh and smile, and want to no longer be single! she MAKES me want to be with her.

-she flirts.
she is flirty... she's wanted by other guys as well as myself. she is a very sexual girl. I know too much flirting with other guys would hurt me but right now I think it would get tamed down a little bit... not to mention if another guy ever hurt her or touched her in someway ...well I'd beat his ass.

-the way she looks at me.
when we're alone the way she looks at me makes me feel cared about, wanted even... I feel glad when I'm around her.



I can't think of a whole lot more.
...she's not a good girl... and I want to be with her. what does it matter?

maybe she should realize that's what love really is
having feelings of caring and compasion... maybe not really knowing why all the time.

when her and I are together ... I don't care what else is going on. only about her. I love her for that.



I think she thinks I'm too young. I think... she dosen't really KNOW what she wants.

but I know what I want. I want to be with her.

right now, I want to be with her and nobody else.


why can't I tell her that... why does it always blank from my mind when I get the chance to tell her.

I just got off the phone with her... she called me. she called to let me know she's too tired.... I wanted to call back... and tell her why I feel the way I do.

I told her I still want to take her out.

what else do I need to say. "sweetheart you rock my world" I mean really c'mon? what do I say to you?

I must be left alone in my thoughts... I must figure out what I have to do on my own. I have to remember all the things to say... all the things she means to me.

she made me feel like if we did hook up that my feelings would soon die... and I would realize she isn't for me. but she is for me. she is NOT unattainable. I will talk to her tomorrow... and talk her into comming by if only real fast... or die trying.