Hey SG fam!
How are we doing this fine Monday?
I wanted to make a post today, giving y'all another update, share some news, and make a little request. ☪
Let's start with the not so cool news-
I got my first rejection email today, despite following instructions given to me as guidelines, which I followed religiously. Yet, the reason it got rejected was that it was not written how I had ORIGINALLY FUCKING PITCHED IT!
Seriously.
I genuinely question what the hell my life is sometimes.
whatever.
That is okay, I am on to far bigger and better things now, honestly.
Now on to the fucking great news!!
Today I created my very first ever, original and all, BOOK COVER for my NaNoWriMo Novel: Elemental Enchantress! [Attached below] Also!!! Upon reaching the very end of this blog post, was when I finally fucking figured out how to move images.... *facepalms infinitely*
I am currently still working on the final details for my short synopsis, which I should [hopefully] be uploading sometime today as well too! I have been receiving incredible amounts of positive feedback with readers beyond stoked to read it-- and I haven't even remotely finalized the details, so that feels pretty encouraging. I honestly, aside from this weird rejection email, have yet to encounter someone who really does not have anything nice to say, but won't shut up... LOL😂
I also, however, finally started AND published, the start of many character backstory stories outside of my plot the other day!
If you would like to read those, and the one I have published, PLZ LIKE THIS POST! :) I will gladly share all of them with you wonderful souls. 🤍
However though, I may feel a little extra, and post them anyways... 😉😘
Before we continue, I want to share some of my Psychosis Poetry with you all.
"REJECTED"
xamethystwritesx
Got my first rejection today,
Even though I wrote it their way.
I did exactly what they did ask,
I did that fucking task.
Yet I just got that email that rejected me,
Fuck I really want to flee.
To flee away from writing,
But I said I wont quit fighting.
Fighting for what I strive to be,
Strive for what it means to me.
What it means to be a writer,
You have to be a mental fighter.
To handle the ups and downs,
Sometimes it will give you the frowns.
You will frown at that rejection,
But give your confidence a resurrection.
We must fight,
Fight to write.
To write our hearts out without our fears,
To write our hearts out even with tears.
What is writing with out pain,
Pain is how we grow and gain.
Grow our experiences,
Gain our experiences.
To feel,
To feel what is real.
To create what is not,
Sometimes its a fucking lot.
But we will write,
We will fight.
Fight back against the rejection emails,
We don’t need those SEO trails.
We will write,
We will fight,
Until we can’t.
☪☪☪ xamethystwritesx ☪☪☪
Okay, okay, okay hold up just one quick second... Wow, I am struggling with getting used to the SG blog post formatting holy hell! First I can't insert an image in the middle of the text, found out I actually fucking can, and then I ALMOST thought I was going to be stuck putting all the poems AND images at the very very bottom of my posts which would be a MESS! It also didn't help matters that when I tried to click enter it jumped back to the top. Ah, got to love operator errors meets technology..😂
I just had to share my struggles for a minute.
To be hella real with all of you, which I genuinely am trying to be in all of my writings and shitwritings, it feels so fucking freeing, liberating, and oh! Did I mention how fucking freeing that being one hundred and ten thousand percent, open, honest, and packed with my real feelings, emotions, and life shit generally, within all of my writing and poetry is?!
Well, I can confidently tell you that despite being in an extreme mixed manic depressive episode for longer than I can recall, I have never felt better, felt like I have somewhere that I belong, and that I no longer feel isolated or alone in how I feel or what I experience-- there really are other humans just like me, struggling with the same bullshit in life and mental/physical health problems that I am! There really isn't a more comforting, encouraging, or positive feeling like this one, and I must say a HUGE THANK YOU indefinitely to all of you here on SG! 🤍😍👏
This brings me to what my headline says... I need a girl friend!
Since honesty is my mega theme here, and everywhere, I am going to be fucking straight up with all of you.
I deadass, have no friends.
Every single girl that I have EVER IN MY 24 YEARS OF LIFE, has severely fucked me over, purposely avoided me when I needed someone the most yet I was expected to instantly help them, taken advantage of my kindness and positive energy, or become so heavy into Meth or Heroin that they are unrecognizable. In reality though? Every last one of them involved ALL of the above... and I'm done with the bullshit females that live near me IRL.
So, would any of you beautiful ladies maybe want to be my internet best friend?! Close friend? Ranting/Venting buddies?! Whatever works, I am chill as hell. Bonus points if you are interested in writing, drawing, reading, gaming, mental health, and won't just dip out and ghost me, when all I want is if you are struggling or busy, just shoot me a message every few weeks or something saying something along the lines of "Hey! I am sorry but I cannot talk now, I will talk with you as soon as I am able to." or "Hey, cant talk, struggling."
It is that easy to be my friend.
I just want someone who will try their best to respond to my messages and maybe exchange cute pics to hype each other up type of thing, and I think that is reasonable.. But, please if you are down to be friends, drop a comment and I can message you/exchange info, or vice versa. Anything goes and I don't have friends, so it is not like I could even tell anyone anything you were to tell me, plus snitches get stitches, anyway. 🤷♀️😘
For most of my life, I have been a very closed off person.. to the point where I can shut my emotions off for the most part at will, but that results in racing thoughts and disassociation, or depersonalization [I always mix those up so I just wrote them both as I most likely experience both. So, on the positive side I could ditch any negative emotions, in fact for a long time I could NOT allow myself to cry in front of anyone, still do struggle with that distorted belief that crying is stupid-- courtesy of 22 years of childhood, adolescent, then young adult traumas + C-PTSD. I am only 24, so it is not like I have been "free" for very long, in fact, it is hella complex and difficult to try to rewire your brain's coping mechanisms and relationships on top of the fact of when I was growing up, showing any sort of emotion was damn near illegal in my parents' house.. seriously.
But, that is totally another story for another time, so if you are intrigued by my fucked up life stories, LIKE THIS TOO! I promise to always keep my promises as far as what I will be posting/writing, within reason, of course.
I guess today I am just in a mega-blogging mood, so I sincerely hope at least ONE HUMAN on here can fucking relate to my wild ass life, ideas, and stories, at least. I also really again, want to thank all of you who support/will be supporting me in one way or another!! 🤍🤍🤍
Some days, the writing flows easier than others, and it feels fucking great. As I mentioned in my first SG blog [or anywhere else, tbh for that matter], becoming a part of SG has been my entire life's dream since I learned about the community and what it stands for back in 2005. So, needless to say, I have never felt happier in my entire life.
I also write Poetry every day, and have a Publication on Medium now, called "Psychosis Poetry" (I will drop the link if anyone is interested, though the publication is brand new so bear with me as it builds please.) and since I have an abundance of Poems, here is another one I found while going through last week's writings. I hope you can love it as much as I do and can feel the amount of emotion I have put into it, and my writings in general.
"SUPERNATURAL OPIOIDS"
xamethystwritesx
SUPERNATURAL IS THE BEST,
WHO GIVES TWO FUCKS ABOUT THE REST?
THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME,
YOU SHOULD KNOW I LOVE TO RHYME,
GIVE IT A TRY SOMETIME,
NO NOT THE RHYMING,
NOT THE RIGHT TIMING,
SUPERNATURAL COMPLETES ME,
WATCH IT ONE TIME,
YOU WILL SEE,
YOU'LL BE ADDICTED JUST LIKE ME,
BUT ADDICTION IS NO JOKE,
EVEN WHEN I LIKE TO TOKE,
SIX YEARS CLEAN FROM THOSE OPIOIDS,
NOW I SCREAM “FUCK OPIOIDS!”
THEY WILL RUIN YOU AND YOUR LIFE TOO,
IT WILL NOT FUCKING HELP YOU,
OPIOIDS WILL LIE TO YOU,
IT WILL TELL YOU TO DO IT ONE LAST TIME,
SO YOU PREPARE YOURSELF A LINE,
BUT IT WAS NEVER WHITE CHINA LIKE IT SAID,
NOW YOU OVERDOSED ON MY BED,
IT WILL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU LOVE,
IT WILL WEAR YOU LIKE A GLOVE,
OPIOIDS SAY THEY’RE FOR THE PAIN,
WHY DO THEY BRING SO MUCH PAIN,
SOBER IS HOW I WILL STAY,
SOBER IS THE ONLY WAY,
BUT I WILL SMOKE,
MARY JANE.
☪☪☪xamethystwritesx☪☪☪
Supernatural Opioids is one of my fucking favorites, and the poem up top was written just this morning post-rejection letter. I write every day starting at 5 A.M., and I love to write first thing in the morning. Honestly, when you are tired, you are far less self-critical. This helps a lot. I have written a lot of my top writings and poems while dead asleep. It is so fucking funny to me!
Alright, I suppose I shall wrap this blog up so I can get to work on my characters! :D
***ONE LAST THING[ISH]***
I do have a writer's/writing discord!! I just started it yesterday, and my goals are to be able to collaborate with other like-minded writers and do both live write-ins, and messaging write-ins, writing live streams, share our WIP's [work in progress] and so much more! otherwise, it is TOTALLY open for readers too if you would like to follow my novel-writing journey even more so. :)
Here is the Discord Link & PLZ SHARE!!!
