Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

hati

Portland, OR

Member Since 2003

Followers 23 Following 17

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Feb 03, 2004

Feb 3, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
A letter to the girl I have yet to meet, if she in fact exists:

Please give it to me. Please make me the mix. Make me the mix that will make me realize I love you becuase of your taste in music. You know I haven't been in a committed relationship with a girl in almost two years. The last one, the last girl I loved, she gave me a mix. A mix that changed my life.
I'll admit, I didn't like it at first. I didn't understand the appeal of "low-fi." It was a bad time it my life. Things were going downhill. The rebuilding, though, was centered on that mix. For the first time ever, I wasn't intimidated by the record store clerks. I said I needed this or that, and then felt a small twinge of pride as the person behind the counter raised their eyebrows in surprise. Yes, I know I looked so preppy. I dressed differently then, too. So why was I looking for these albums? Becuase they were going to be the fuel in my vehicle for change; the music that would be the building blocks of my new and vastly different life. An unlikely change to make at 25 years of age, but one that I knew I would make..
I bought 16 albums just becuase of that mix. The girl who gave it to me, I loved that unblanced, substance-abusing, beautiful girl for a million reasons, but none of them have lingered like this mix. When I put in on, I can still feel all the anger and heartache that was her life. Our coupling was proof that love is a sickness. Love can be cheerful and sweet, but we had was a dark, tortured obsession.
That was a long time ago, now, and we can't even talk to each other anymore. All that's left is disgust, fury, regret, amd shame. But I still have the mix. Listening to it pains me. It wrenches my heart. It furrows my brow. It hurts me, but it reminds me I once experienced the thrill of exploring a world totally foreign to me. The thrill has faded, and all I want, more than anything, is for you to make me the mix that will turn me inside out one more time.


I am waiting.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
ativan101:
No, it's not me! She sorta kinda looks like me, but it's not.............. wink
Feb 5, 2004
tastysoup:
you are cool. i rate you an a+. you pass life! yay for you!
Feb 6, 2004

More Blogs

  • 04.26.04
    12

    Monday Apr 26, 2004

    I just watched the John Waters movie, "Cry Baby," on TV. I forgot ho…
  • 04.24.04
    15

    Saturday Apr 24, 2004

    It's a beautiful day. Went out last night to see the SGNY fashion sh…
  • 04.21.04
    26

    Wednesday Apr 21, 2004

    I am so psyched that these drawings came out so well. The video is…
  • 04.19.04
    14

    Monday Apr 19, 2004

    I'm only editing my journal instead of writing a new one becuase I wa…
  • 04.17.04
    6

    Saturday Apr 17, 2004

    Good seeing SGNYers last night. I'm fucking exhausted. But the vide…
  • 04.13.04
    9

    Wednesday Apr 14, 2004

    Because the last two entries were long, this is geared towards shorte…
  • 04.12.04
    6

    Monday Apr 12, 2004

    Part 2: Okay, so now I'm at LaGuardia and they've released my car …
  • 04.07.04
    13

    Wednesday Apr 07, 2004

    New pictures added in all folders. I spoke with somone at the Oreg…
  • 04.05.04
    17

    Monday Apr 05, 2004

    Saw a poem on the subway today that the MTA has in the cars. I liked…
  • 04.04.04
    7

    Sunday Apr 04, 2004

    Read More

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
29
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,596 SuicideGirls
  • 1,119,978 followers
  • 14,934,393 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,427,284 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo