hastwothumbs

Haikus.

1. Where is your cell phone?
Oh, radiation
Please don't give me brain cancer
That would really suck

2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?
No time for true love
Must gain experience points
Level fifty-nine

3. Your hair?
Warms my poison brain
Incubates my diseased thoughts
Gives birth to madness

4. Your mother?
Has very poor taste
Why does she hate Columbo?
Such an awesome show

5. Your father?:
That's a good question
Haven't seen him in twelve years
He's probably dead

6. Your favorite item?
Ninja sword of death
Harmonious wind cutter
I know karate

7. Your dream last night?:
Oh, no! Strange space rays!
I'm Captain Fucking Awesome
We are heroes now

8. Your favorite drink?
Drink deep of anger
When hatred is absolute
Nectar of the gods

9. Your dream car?
Federation class
Rock your ass from outer space
All lasers fire

10. The room you are in?
As the Buddhists live
My temple sanctuary
With a Nintendo

Eleven is gone
Probably something stupid
Good riddance, brain trash

12. Your fear?
Reincarnation
One life is enough for me
All I need is dirt

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?:
Herald of stories
Prophet in sinner's clothing
The urban shaman

14. Who did you hang out with last night?:
Alone do I tread
One path, one journey, one end
Plus, I'm an asshole

15. What you're not?:
Untouched by the muse
No Divine Inspiration
Sold my soul for laughs

16. Muffins?:
Oh, for the love of...
This question is really dumb
Not funny. At all.

17: One of your wish list items?:
For mankind to thrive
Peace, love, and understanding
Ha ha just kidding

18:what time is it?:
Ten twenty-seven
January fifth, Friday
Two thousand seven

(Or at least it was when I answered this.)

19. The last thing you did?
Trying to finish
Answered another question
Five-seven-five scheme

20. What are you wearing?:
As the fish must swim
The flame of Faith in your eyes
Extinguished by lust

22. Your favorite book?:
Doctor Doom is rad
He launched the Hulk into space
"Now, to blow up space!"

23. The last thing you ate?:
Quite uninspired
A pepperoni pizza
Not much to say here

24. Your life?:
At one with the filth
All the insects know my name
Savor their venom

25. Your mood?
Remember, sad one:
The frowning world, when shown love,
Will buy you a beer

26. Your friends?:
As moons come and go
Many waves crash upon me
The life of driftwood

27. What are you thinking about right now?
These fucking haiku's
Spent way too much time on them
One more shit Friday

28. Your car:
Journey to nowhere
Where I lay my head is home
For whom the bell tolls

29. What are you doing at the moment?:
Caffeine injection
Overload of stimulants
Come soon, heart attack

30. Your summer?
Meet the new season
Promise of love unfulfilled
Same as last season

31. Your relationship status?:
All love rejects you
The embrace of alcohol
Bliss of the drunkard

32. What is on your TV?:
Background noise, filler
Ears half full from some movie
Bum Fights: God's Seinfeld

33. When is the last time you laughed?
That last one was good
No wonder I'm still single
I'm going to hell

34. Last time you cried?:
Bambi's mother died
Calvin started Ritalin
They shot Old Yeller

35. School?
I wanted to teach
I hate kids and like to curse
Not a good combo