haskalmighty

So then i find out what i already suspected: she doesn't love me. And i suppose that ought to hurt, but honestly i couldn't be more overjoyed. She's 19, for Christ's sake. If she had said she loved me, she would have been lying through her teeth. We would have had a good time for a few months, a year or two maybe, before we realized the foundation was wrong. And it's those tiny decisions, that split second where you really have a choice, that makes all the difference. She would have said yes and i'd have had my hands on my zipper and before you know it i'd be out of class, two years gone and heartbroken songs littering my docs folder.

Don't get me wrong, this woman is spectacular. Phenomenal. And at this moment i have more respect and admiration for her than ever before; she is Beautiful, and i care very, very deeply about her. But it's--it's liberating, being able to care for someone without expecting a return. Someone invited me to get baked with them last night and he said, "I figure it's a simple choice, Hask; you can either live your life the hard way or the easy way. What's it gonna be?"

Hard way, every time.