It was my birthday yesterday. Yipee. But I was sicker than shit. Boo. Layed around all day watching movies with my Darling. Coughing. Sneezing. Blowing my nose. Dying. EMan is out this week. I'd give a left nut to keep him here. He's one of my anchors. We went cemetary browsing. I love doing that, it keeps me level. Reminds me where I am and where I belong. EMan said he'd never forget me. I said I'd probably forget him, all is forgotten in time. I lied. I'll become tired and let it all fade, but I'll never forget him. Ours is too tragic a love story to forget. But also too tragic to dwell upon. I told Darling about my unrequited love of EMan. He understand. No, he doesn't understand, but he is okay with it all. He gets that I can't let go, although he's unsure of why I can't let go. I love him. Darling, I mean. I love that he is all mine and no one else's, despite the fact that I will never be able to be all his. My heart won't allow it. Someday it might. I asked if he'd propose after five years together, he said maybe. I got a maybe out of him! I don't want anything legal, just a sweetheart ceremony to show that we love oneanother. I might get it. Two more years to go.
I need to quit popping my knuckles. It's sickening. I'm on the not so pressing search for my father. I hope I figure out if I want to find him or not before I find him or not. I want to go grave hopping tonight. Maybe I'll find him. Probably not. Someday I will, and I will be displeased. Debbie told me I need to find him now, or I'll never be happy. I don't think I'll ever be happy about this thing either way. I owe him nothing, but I owe myself the world, and the truth. I'll find him. Probably a day too late.
Miles is finally doing an acoustic album. I'm glad, he's got a great voice and an amazing writing style. Anyone in the area should see him perform, I'll mention a concert setting to him. Miles is great. He's another anchor. He'll always be there, accepting of whatever I do or say or wear, and always when I want him around. I think I've only seen him about 15 times in 4 years. He's great like that.
That's all. I'm done.
*Demon
I need to quit popping my knuckles. It's sickening. I'm on the not so pressing search for my father. I hope I figure out if I want to find him or not before I find him or not. I want to go grave hopping tonight. Maybe I'll find him. Probably not. Someday I will, and I will be displeased. Debbie told me I need to find him now, or I'll never be happy. I don't think I'll ever be happy about this thing either way. I owe him nothing, but I owe myself the world, and the truth. I'll find him. Probably a day too late.
Miles is finally doing an acoustic album. I'm glad, he's got a great voice and an amazing writing style. Anyone in the area should see him perform, I'll mention a concert setting to him. Miles is great. He's another anchor. He'll always be there, accepting of whatever I do or say or wear, and always when I want him around. I think I've only seen him about 15 times in 4 years. He's great like that.
That's all. I'm done.
*Demon