"you sit there in your heartache...
...waiting for some beautiful boy to
to save you from your old ways
you play forgiveness
watch it now
here he comes
he doesnt look a think like jesus
but he
talks like a gentleman
like you imagined
when you
where young"
i was walking home tonight from the walkabout and a group of pissed up lads were singing this and the lyrics are perfect for how i feel about me and my little trist with a seventeen year old lover (eleven years my junior).
a group of boys came to stay at the hostel, all quite young and very close. two of them had mowhawks and one was a snappy dresser, however the other, despite always wearing a long black leather coat caught my eye. he had the most beautiful, piercing blue eyes. the kind that captivate you and each time he blinks its like seeing them for the first time. small, round face and puffy little lips, perfect to land tender kisses on. taller than i and with a quiet calm about him. at first he seems to be a nazi/punk type of guy. like he's always looking for a fight, but on getting to know him, is a modest, chivalrous boy who has a long and prosperous road ahead of him. he wants to be an actor and an actor he will be. he made me think of orlando bloom, but a better version. with the most gorgeous voice, and an ability to sing, his nature was assured yet tender. unassuming yet witty all the same.
around me, he was eager and enamoured, and i too. being with him made me feel ten years younger. but the best part, was being treated the way i long to be treated, was being desired in the way i long to be desired. he thought i was beautiful and told me so numerous times. he wanted to be with me as much as possible but also let me be. he was affectionate and respectful and fun to be around. he told me he couldnt stop thinking about me and asked me what i had done to him. id done nothing but fallen for him. i cant remember the last time someone i was attracted to said they couldnt get me out of their head. it felt so good to hear those words.
before he left he woke me up with a soft smokey kiss in my lips. and i miss him now. i asked for a man who would desire me and respect me and let me be, an attractive man with a sense of humour, passion and intelligence and i got what i asked for. albeit very young, but all the same. it was good to have a reminder of how things can be. and i am more than willing to hold out for another john.
how lucky was i to have spent 4 hours hiding under a duvet with him on a couch outside the hostel talking and kissing. it was our time, our little moment, our world and it felt like love to me. oh but how could it be love eleven years apart and only knowing eachother a few hours? i think with all my experience, i know what love is, i know how it feels and not many people do, so how can you judge me? i remember, i think, making some kind of joke that i loved him and he said "funny you should say that" and i knew that he also felt it.
and now we miss eachother. these days, it is so rare to meet someone you can just spend time with and it feels like youre in your own world, us against them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
in other boy news. dave is so over and i havent spoken to ade since he got his knickers in a twist wen i got together with my teenage lover.
wen will men realise that girls like me dont hang around waiting for them to get their act together? dont come crying to me cos im not there wen you want me darling, i hav better things to do than wait around for your undivided attention.
...waiting for some beautiful boy to
to save you from your old ways
you play forgiveness
watch it now
here he comes
he doesnt look a think like jesus
but he
talks like a gentleman
like you imagined
when you
where young"
i was walking home tonight from the walkabout and a group of pissed up lads were singing this and the lyrics are perfect for how i feel about me and my little trist with a seventeen year old lover (eleven years my junior).
a group of boys came to stay at the hostel, all quite young and very close. two of them had mowhawks and one was a snappy dresser, however the other, despite always wearing a long black leather coat caught my eye. he had the most beautiful, piercing blue eyes. the kind that captivate you and each time he blinks its like seeing them for the first time. small, round face and puffy little lips, perfect to land tender kisses on. taller than i and with a quiet calm about him. at first he seems to be a nazi/punk type of guy. like he's always looking for a fight, but on getting to know him, is a modest, chivalrous boy who has a long and prosperous road ahead of him. he wants to be an actor and an actor he will be. he made me think of orlando bloom, but a better version. with the most gorgeous voice, and an ability to sing, his nature was assured yet tender. unassuming yet witty all the same.
around me, he was eager and enamoured, and i too. being with him made me feel ten years younger. but the best part, was being treated the way i long to be treated, was being desired in the way i long to be desired. he thought i was beautiful and told me so numerous times. he wanted to be with me as much as possible but also let me be. he was affectionate and respectful and fun to be around. he told me he couldnt stop thinking about me and asked me what i had done to him. id done nothing but fallen for him. i cant remember the last time someone i was attracted to said they couldnt get me out of their head. it felt so good to hear those words.
before he left he woke me up with a soft smokey kiss in my lips. and i miss him now. i asked for a man who would desire me and respect me and let me be, an attractive man with a sense of humour, passion and intelligence and i got what i asked for. albeit very young, but all the same. it was good to have a reminder of how things can be. and i am more than willing to hold out for another john.
how lucky was i to have spent 4 hours hiding under a duvet with him on a couch outside the hostel talking and kissing. it was our time, our little moment, our world and it felt like love to me. oh but how could it be love eleven years apart and only knowing eachother a few hours? i think with all my experience, i know what love is, i know how it feels and not many people do, so how can you judge me? i remember, i think, making some kind of joke that i loved him and he said "funny you should say that" and i knew that he also felt it.
and now we miss eachother. these days, it is so rare to meet someone you can just spend time with and it feels like youre in your own world, us against them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
in other boy news. dave is so over and i havent spoken to ade since he got his knickers in a twist wen i got together with my teenage lover.
wen will men realise that girls like me dont hang around waiting for them to get their act together? dont come crying to me cos im not there wen you want me darling, i hav better things to do than wait around for your undivided attention.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
The Killers write superb lyrics...