SO fucking annoyed right now! ARGH!
My ankle is still fucked and today worse than before and I couldnt stand or walk on it, so Ive been sitting alone at home all day with no food and tonight I called 3 people I know who live in the roads around my house to ask if they wouldnt mind going to the shop for me cos Im hungry and I cant walk but none of them could be bothered and it annoys me so much! Im sure if I was pamela anderson or gisel bundchen or someone equally as nice and drop dead gorgeous theyd jump hoops! im really fucking offended!
ok, so two of them were guys. and i just know that they think i want to get with them, which i dont. i dont see why they couldnt just be kind enough to help a damsel in distress out.
why am i the girl all the guys like but dont want to be anywhere near? im always the girl theyll fuck once. oh, they all like me, especially the taken ones, but they dont want to BE with me. they dont even want to be a friend and hang out with me. i dont dress provocatively and ok, so i might joke about sex and make innuendos, but im not trying to get anything from anyone. so FUCK YOU!
i know that my whole personality has changed because i know that people meet me and then dont get very close to me. they just seem to stay on the outskirts. why is everyone so scared of me? i am who i am, i am strong willed and opinionated, but im also intelligent and mindful and kind and good hearted and i am sick to death of being taken the wrong way.
it just makes me want to hermit myself and keep away from people. i am so hurt.
what am i saying, im probably over reacting, theyve probably got other plans and arent sitting at home in front of the TV not thinking about wether im ok and someone got food for me. CUNTS.
im so fucking sick of trying to make friends but no one really is a real friend. someone who is there for you no matter what.
god, youd think guys would jump at the chance at being a knight in shining armour. i guess i got that all wrong! and they wonder why im so mean to them. cos you fucked me over countless times you mother fuckers and im sick to the back teeth of it.
im like an abandoned abused animal that when you go to save them will just go mental on your ass cos they dont trust humans anymore. thats how i feel with people, guys especially. iim always fighting because im sick of being walked all over and taken for granted.
i ended up walking to the shop and i cried cos of the pain and the worst part of it all is i forgot to buy cigarettes!!!!!
-UPDATE-
soon after I wrote this, jamie called to check on me and see if i still needed someone which is very cool of him considering. y'see i invited jamie round a week ago to watch a movie over a bottle of my favourite red wine and i had no intention of doing anything with him even tho i think he is damn sexy (see pic below of his yummy tummy). anyway, we get a little pissed on the wine and end up having a very cool conversation about all sorts and relationships and turns out the guys is pretty damn smart and worth talking to, which is saying something! so next thing, he is lying on the couch with his legs over my lap under the duvet and we start talking about six packs and exercising and then i end up stroking his 8-pack while we carry on talking about something else and then he starts getting all turned on and i tease him about it thinking itd just be a laugh except he suddenly jumps up and is out the door before i can say, 'ang on a mini' in true british soap style. so, his chivalry tonight was very much appreciated given that ive not spoken to him since that night. this is a man of substance and im so glad of it. this also means i need to stay well away from him if im to preserve our friendship. he said to give him a call if i needed anyone over the weekend to go to the shop for me. isnt that sweet. very good boy. i did the "end the call before he does" thing which i kinda regret since he was kind enough to be kind to me, but then, maybe now he'll get a whiff that im not after his man meat (much) haha!
My ankle is still fucked and today worse than before and I couldnt stand or walk on it, so Ive been sitting alone at home all day with no food and tonight I called 3 people I know who live in the roads around my house to ask if they wouldnt mind going to the shop for me cos Im hungry and I cant walk but none of them could be bothered and it annoys me so much! Im sure if I was pamela anderson or gisel bundchen or someone equally as nice and drop dead gorgeous theyd jump hoops! im really fucking offended!
ok, so two of them were guys. and i just know that they think i want to get with them, which i dont. i dont see why they couldnt just be kind enough to help a damsel in distress out.
why am i the girl all the guys like but dont want to be anywhere near? im always the girl theyll fuck once. oh, they all like me, especially the taken ones, but they dont want to BE with me. they dont even want to be a friend and hang out with me. i dont dress provocatively and ok, so i might joke about sex and make innuendos, but im not trying to get anything from anyone. so FUCK YOU!
i know that my whole personality has changed because i know that people meet me and then dont get very close to me. they just seem to stay on the outskirts. why is everyone so scared of me? i am who i am, i am strong willed and opinionated, but im also intelligent and mindful and kind and good hearted and i am sick to death of being taken the wrong way.
it just makes me want to hermit myself and keep away from people. i am so hurt.
what am i saying, im probably over reacting, theyve probably got other plans and arent sitting at home in front of the TV not thinking about wether im ok and someone got food for me. CUNTS.
im so fucking sick of trying to make friends but no one really is a real friend. someone who is there for you no matter what.
god, youd think guys would jump at the chance at being a knight in shining armour. i guess i got that all wrong! and they wonder why im so mean to them. cos you fucked me over countless times you mother fuckers and im sick to the back teeth of it.
im like an abandoned abused animal that when you go to save them will just go mental on your ass cos they dont trust humans anymore. thats how i feel with people, guys especially. iim always fighting because im sick of being walked all over and taken for granted.
i ended up walking to the shop and i cried cos of the pain and the worst part of it all is i forgot to buy cigarettes!!!!!
-UPDATE-
soon after I wrote this, jamie called to check on me and see if i still needed someone which is very cool of him considering. y'see i invited jamie round a week ago to watch a movie over a bottle of my favourite red wine and i had no intention of doing anything with him even tho i think he is damn sexy (see pic below of his yummy tummy). anyway, we get a little pissed on the wine and end up having a very cool conversation about all sorts and relationships and turns out the guys is pretty damn smart and worth talking to, which is saying something! so next thing, he is lying on the couch with his legs over my lap under the duvet and we start talking about six packs and exercising and then i end up stroking his 8-pack while we carry on talking about something else and then he starts getting all turned on and i tease him about it thinking itd just be a laugh except he suddenly jumps up and is out the door before i can say, 'ang on a mini' in true british soap style. so, his chivalry tonight was very much appreciated given that ive not spoken to him since that night. this is a man of substance and im so glad of it. this also means i need to stay well away from him if im to preserve our friendship. he said to give him a call if i needed anyone over the weekend to go to the shop for me. isnt that sweet. very good boy. i did the "end the call before he does" thing which i kinda regret since he was kind enough to be kind to me, but then, maybe now he'll get a whiff that im not after his man meat (much) haha!
i know that my whole personality has changed because i know that people meet me and then dont get very close to me. they just seem to stay on the outskirts. why is everyone so scared of me?
Having met you in person I thought you were cool - but quite distant - I mean we only kinda hung out for part of an evening but I didn't get the feeling that you wanted to share (not body fluids, but thoughts and feeling) - I know you better from your blog yeah we talked about some cool stuff, but it just didn't seem very open. Maybe you just thought i was a prat?
why am i the girl all the guys like but dont want to be anywhere near? im always the girl theyll fuck once. oh, they all like me, especially the taken ones, but they dont want to BE with me. they dont even want to be a friend and hang out with me.
Well come hang out then love to make your aquaintance again...
i ended up walking to the shop and i cried cos of the pain and the worst part of it all is i forgot to buy cigarettes!!!!!
Shall I put some ciggs in the post ?
Don't you have a grocery delivery company down there - like Waitrose or Ocado?
im so fucking sick of trying to make friends but no one really is a real friend. someone who is there for you no matter what.
Try me. Got nothin to lose, Rumour has it that I make a pretty descent friend. The "no matter what" type friendship grows over time. Not offering that, but i got ears and time
Hope you feel better soon - try not to hate all men, we're not all arseholes