Werid laws in Arizona
In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.
Werid laws in Ohio
In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, for men can see the reflection of their underwear.
In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell Cornflakes on Sunday.
It Oxford, it is illegal for a women to undress in front of a man's picture.
In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
Catch-22 is banned in Strongville.
(catch-22 the band? Or Catch-22 as in the Catch-22???)
Werid Laws in Mi
A man legally owns his wife's hair.
In Detroit, it is illegal to ogle a woman from a moving car.
In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances ins 20 mph.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as mechanics.
Those were all gay.
The label on the chain-saw warning that: You should not try to stop the blade with your hand.
The label from the company manufacturing wing mirrors for cars and bikes warning; Remember, objects seen in the mirror are behind you.
The label on the camera stating; To take photographs this camera must have a film in it.
The labelling on Sainsbury's Peanuts stating; Contains nuts
And on the subject of nuts, the instructions on the packet of Peanuts provided by an airline which states; Instructions.Open Packet. Eat Contents.
The cigarette lighter label which warned; Do not light the flame near the face.
The Marks and Spencer Bread and Butter pudding whose label states the clasically obvious: Take care - Product will be hot after heating
Rowenta, manufacturers of electric irons felt the need to instruct users that; Do not iron clothes whilst on the body.
Nytol, the herbal sleeping mixture whose label proclaims; Warning may cause drowsiness.
The American manufactured insect spray whose proud boast 'Kills all Insects' and was then labelled; Warning - this spray is harmful to bees
Blue balls are fun to give :0)
Actual amout of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons
Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons
Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour
Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150
Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
Average length when erect: 5.1
Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch
Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches
Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)
Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet
Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall
Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start excercising, lose weight.
Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, and wheat germ
Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%
Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2weeks
Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
Average # of erections during the night: 9
Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
The human equalivent: 26 miles (a marathon distance)
Time it takes the sperm: 2.5 seconds
Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours
Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)
Shelf life of a hostess twinkie: 7 years
Cost of a year's supply of condoms: $100
Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm
Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm
Thickness of plastic wrap: .0127 mm
# of times condoms are thicker that plastic wrap: almost 6
In general, the taste of a man's semen varies with his diet.
Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste.
Dairy products can create a foul taste.
The taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest.
ACIDIC FRUITS AND ALCOHOL (EXCEPT PROCESSED LIQUORS) GIVE IT A PLEASANT AND SUGARY TASTE.
Examples: oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, Labatt Blue, Honey Brown
Drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun.
Odors that increase blood flow to the penis:lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie. (Happy Thanksgiving!)
Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower.
It is common for men to wake up with "morning wood," a name for an a.m. erection.
Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode if he doesn't have sex, is totally false.
WTF?!?!?
A law in Faibanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.
Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.
A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.
In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.
Werid laws in Ohio
In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, for men can see the reflection of their underwear.
In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell Cornflakes on Sunday.
It Oxford, it is illegal for a women to undress in front of a man's picture.
In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
Catch-22 is banned in Strongville.
(catch-22 the band? Or Catch-22 as in the Catch-22???)
Werid Laws in Mi
A man legally owns his wife's hair.
In Detroit, it is illegal to ogle a woman from a moving car.
In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances ins 20 mph.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as mechanics.
Those were all gay.
The label on the chain-saw warning that: You should not try to stop the blade with your hand.
The label from the company manufacturing wing mirrors for cars and bikes warning; Remember, objects seen in the mirror are behind you.
The label on the camera stating; To take photographs this camera must have a film in it.
The labelling on Sainsbury's Peanuts stating; Contains nuts
And on the subject of nuts, the instructions on the packet of Peanuts provided by an airline which states; Instructions.Open Packet. Eat Contents.
The cigarette lighter label which warned; Do not light the flame near the face.
The Marks and Spencer Bread and Butter pudding whose label states the clasically obvious: Take care - Product will be hot after heating
Rowenta, manufacturers of electric irons felt the need to instruct users that; Do not iron clothes whilst on the body.
Nytol, the herbal sleeping mixture whose label proclaims; Warning may cause drowsiness.
The American manufactured insect spray whose proud boast 'Kills all Insects' and was then labelled; Warning - this spray is harmful to bees
Blue balls are fun to give :0)
Actual amout of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons
Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons
Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour
Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150
Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
Average length when erect: 5.1
Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch
Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches
Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)
Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet
Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall
Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start excercising, lose weight.
Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, and wheat germ
Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%
Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2weeks
Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
Average # of erections during the night: 9
Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
The human equalivent: 26 miles (a marathon distance)
Time it takes the sperm: 2.5 seconds
Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours
Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)
Shelf life of a hostess twinkie: 7 years
Cost of a year's supply of condoms: $100
Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm
Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm
Thickness of plastic wrap: .0127 mm
# of times condoms are thicker that plastic wrap: almost 6
In general, the taste of a man's semen varies with his diet.
Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste.
Dairy products can create a foul taste.
The taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest.
ACIDIC FRUITS AND ALCOHOL (EXCEPT PROCESSED LIQUORS) GIVE IT A PLEASANT AND SUGARY TASTE.
Examples: oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, Labatt Blue, Honey Brown
Drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun.
Odors that increase blood flow to the penis:lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie. (Happy Thanksgiving!)
Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower.
It is common for men to wake up with "morning wood," a name for an a.m. erection.
Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode if he doesn't have sex, is totally false.
WTF?!?!?
A law in Faibanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.
Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.
A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.
In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
moto_for_life:
Holy crap that was long. 