hardcoredoug

I can tell you with certainty that girl scout thin mints have a shelf life of at least 3 years

Him: Geez did you see these stacks of orders we need to approve?
Me: How many?
Him: Like, stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks

haha, my man

Alright, all Super Bowl jabs aside, I think we can all agree that Tom Brady (love him or loathe him) is a helluva athlete. Multiple Super Bowl winner, multiple-time MVP. Very athletic, very strong. All those muscles, those big strong shoulders. That winning smile and those piercing blue eyes that just tell you he's a winner... and everything will be okay. And you just want...
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Dream last night, in a spa/hot tub type room with cute girl I know, both wrapped in towels (*wakka chikka* this is gonna get good)

Me: Well I guess it's time for me to go
Her: Aw really? I thought we could have some... fun
Me: (move closer)
Her: Hey back up buddy, not like that
Me: (move back)
Her: Hey where are you going?...
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I love reading xkcd author Randall Monroe's blog "What If", where people email outlandish questions that can result in a scientific answer, often bordering on the absurd. Since there wasn't an entry this week, I decided to do some research on my own question that I had previously submitted.

“Earlier today, an unknown gentleman offered to give my female friend a 'handful of orgasms.' Sleazy...
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Read the title. That is all.

When Charlie Murphy (my cat) jumps on the arm of the chair, puts his face in mine, starts sniffing around my lips/nose.... I say screw it and just lick him right on the nose. He pulls back and starts cleaning.

He never learns!

*spit* Neither do I

Few months ago, give the brother a Simba plush I got at a garage sale to give to the wee baby niece. Go to their place, and I guess someone also gave her a Simba plush, except that one's 5x the size and she likes playing with it more

The last thing I need is for my uncle-niece life to have parallels with my dating...
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I can't wear the same pair of boxer briefs for the whole week?

Well that's just, like, your opinion man

Well this is just great. Here I am, day two on the job, trying to focus and learn. Go to lunch, and recognize the old college crush in the lunch room. Cuz hell, it's been 8 years since that happened so why not. Try to chat and the brain stops, turns out I'm still a stuttering mess.

#highschoolstyle #gotthevapors