There are so many things we can do to help our planet, you guys. We can...
*throw random food scraps into the yard like a lunatic*
...learn new best day to day practices. Whether it be composting ...
*watch Lucy eat from the cat box*
...biodegradable waste, reusing items multiple times before disposing of them, watching how...
*pee into the shower, fully clothed, from outside...
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Years ago, overhearing a 5 yo girl in the office for some reason.
Adult: Are you excited by all this snow we're getting!
Her: No! Snow is stupid!
Me: You know what, you're alright little lady.
Going through my 20s like...
Her: I'm actively flirting with you. Seriously. This is not a drill.
Me: Haha you're funny
Her: DAMMIT!
Me two months later: DAMMIT!!!
"A stranger is just a friend that you haven't met yet!" ~ someone that wasn't a pretty white girl on FB with a pending friend request list
Me: When you genuinely love and respect men and women as equals, you don't have to act over the top in letting people know that you do. You can just live life the right way and people will know :)
*Youtube auto-plays next video, Chris Brown singin "These Hoes Aint Loyal"*
Me: ....wait, no go back
Drink lots of water, lovelies! If you don't, I'll hunt down your step-nephew and teach him common core math without his permission. Today! *finger guns and a wink*
If Lebron James' entourage isn't called a Lebron-tourage then he doesn't deserve fans
My doctor said I should drink more whiskey
"He really said that?"
Well his exact words were 'drink less vodka' but I know what he meant
Coming across that girl that stood you up, making you feel unwanted, too many times on Bumble and SMASHING THAT LEFT SWIPE is pretty goshdarn satisfying
victoriaboness:
🤗
Mother's Day is coming up. If you and your mom don't get along all that great.... you want mine?
Not giving her up or anything, I just bet she'll adopt you if you ask really nicely. That sounds like the kind of Barbara shit she'd do.