I had a really crappy day!!!! I've been waiting for a few weeks to find out if I got this disbatcher job at work. So today I found out that I didn't get it. Not gettting the job isn't the wost thing in the world. You don't get paid more. It's just different work. It's more of a status thing in the office. Two people who are "under" me have already gotten this job. When they got it I didn't really mind but I would like to do it also. Normally we have 6 disbatchers and they alternate weeks. Now we only have 5 and soon it will only be 4.
Whats worse it that my boss had this big list of reasons why they didn't think I should do it. They had written down specific times that they thought I was "innappropriate" or made a mistake. They've been doing this over the past month. When I say they I mean the other disbatchers. The thing is that 3 out of the 5 disbatchers are my close friends. I thought. One of them was even in my wedding. Now I'm not saying that I expected them to pick me just because we're friends. Two of them had told me that they wanted me to have the job. I thought that the last few weeks everyone had been acting strange. I even asked them on more then one occasion if something was wrong. And they all just lied to me.
These people are my only friends. I feel like I finally let myself trust people again and they stab me in the back. Not one of them warned me what was going to happen. I just don't understand what I did. Some of the things they said happened didn't happen at all or were taken out of context. This is the only job I've ever loved. The only job I've ever felt like I was making a difference. Now these people I trusted are trying to show how bad I am at it.
The thing is that I'm always the one saying "oh there is good in the world" "I know that things are bad now, but they'll get better." Thats all fucking bullshit! God lets you think that things are going to be OK again. He lets you just get comfortable, get a little bit of happiness and then he turns it all to shit!!
Whats worse it that my boss had this big list of reasons why they didn't think I should do it. They had written down specific times that they thought I was "innappropriate" or made a mistake. They've been doing this over the past month. When I say they I mean the other disbatchers. The thing is that 3 out of the 5 disbatchers are my close friends. I thought. One of them was even in my wedding. Now I'm not saying that I expected them to pick me just because we're friends. Two of them had told me that they wanted me to have the job. I thought that the last few weeks everyone had been acting strange. I even asked them on more then one occasion if something was wrong. And they all just lied to me.
These people are my only friends. I feel like I finally let myself trust people again and they stab me in the back. Not one of them warned me what was going to happen. I just don't understand what I did. Some of the things they said happened didn't happen at all or were taken out of context. This is the only job I've ever loved. The only job I've ever felt like I was making a difference. Now these people I trusted are trying to show how bad I am at it.
The thing is that I'm always the one saying "oh there is good in the world" "I know that things are bad now, but they'll get better." Thats all fucking bullshit! God lets you think that things are going to be OK again. He lets you just get comfortable, get a little bit of happiness and then he turns it all to shit!!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
i hope things get better dearie :x