happyboy

I blame myself. If I had more ambition I would have a much more satisfying job, at least one with not so much down time. Aside from the occassional fire that I have to put out, I more or less get a days pay for just one true hour's worth of actual labor. Whenever I am told by folks of how I am such a godsend, jack of all trades, the glue that holds all together, that I do so many amazing things, I laugh inside at how little of a clue that person has. I mean really, Helen Keller could easily figure out I have absolutlely no passion for whatever it is I am supposed to do. All my life I have been enabled enough by others that I don't really need to have any, as long as they want to pay me, fine. The only downside, I am almost always bored the fuck out of my mind. And so, when I came across the SG book we distribute, I thought let's see what this shite is all about.

I liked what I saw enough to join in December of 2004. It took a while for me to find my groove, I quit and rejoined a bunch of times until finally, I started making friends and getting a decent share of posts to my blogs. However the thrill is gone. In my mid thirties, I am not the oldest person on this site by far and yet, I still feel there is some sort of creep factor in my attempt to converse with girls 10 to 15 years younger then me. I feel dirty even though my intentions are nothing of the kind. I have no intentions at all. My job is just so boring that I really have nothing better to do. Outside of the office I have never logged on to the site, not once.

Basically, if my job was more worthwhile, kept me busy, I would have never joined this site. I don't get anything out of it, haven't for a good while now, I just use it to pass the time. I don't really belong here, I get that sense when ever I log on. This just isn't for me so, see ya guys, have a nice life and party on! I'm out