Dont'cha just hate those moments where you mess up and the only excuse you have is a momentary lapse in judgement otherwise known as pure, unadulterated stupidity?
I wake up, it's 5:00am, I roll over and try to go back to sleep, I wake up and it's still 5:, oh wait, it's now 5:01am. I realize this is all an exercise in futility. That's the nice thing about having a history of poor sleep habits, the longer you have them the sooner you're able to come to the conclusion that you might as well just get the fuck up. So, I gets me shirt on, I gets me pants, socks, and me black Converse hightops on and slink in behind the wheel of my fine, cool-ass shit, 1991 Mercury Sable and roll to the Starbucks down the way.
I get there and suddenly, I'm no longer in the mood for any of the ol' bean and hot water. I'm still so tired that I'm too lazy to get out of the silly car and cross the silly street. So, all groggy and not really paying attention to matters, I begin to pull out of my parking spot when, 'what's this?, I just felt a bump and, oh look, the lil' pine scented air freshner dangling from the mirror in the spiffy, brand new Dodge Stratus in front of me is swingin' to and fro. It appears my dear Sabbie has found a new friend and is giving them a smooch on the rear of all places, how cute!'
I pull my car back and get out to leer over the damage I have wrought with the power most high. Not bad, a small scrape on the bumper of the Dodge. Just then, the proud owner walks out of the Starbucks and begins headin' my way. "Should I get back in my car and peel out all Starsky and Hutch like? Naw, he's already seen me, that would be rude." So, I stand there waiting for what's to come all the while this other fellow has a look of hesitancy about him as if he's thinking I'm going to mug him or something. He gets close enough and I tell him of my faux pas, he looks at the scrape on his bumper and calmly asks, "Well, what are you going to do about it." "Do about what? Do about what, what, what....(starts moving about in slow motion, waving arms around, and bouncing) You're having a dream, go back to sleep."
I did the responsible thing, was the least I could do seeing as how I was caught dead to rights anyway, and assured him I had insurance and gave him the coveted information. We then shook hands, promised to email each other and maybe go clubbing some time but, I really doubt that will ever happen. I drove back home and pondered how my rates wouldn't be going up if I had just stayed in bed or gone inside the Starbucks as planned. Ironic that today is known as Hump day 'cause I feel like I just screwed myself between the peaches.
I wake up, it's 5:00am, I roll over and try to go back to sleep, I wake up and it's still 5:, oh wait, it's now 5:01am. I realize this is all an exercise in futility. That's the nice thing about having a history of poor sleep habits, the longer you have them the sooner you're able to come to the conclusion that you might as well just get the fuck up. So, I gets me shirt on, I gets me pants, socks, and me black Converse hightops on and slink in behind the wheel of my fine, cool-ass shit, 1991 Mercury Sable and roll to the Starbucks down the way.
I get there and suddenly, I'm no longer in the mood for any of the ol' bean and hot water. I'm still so tired that I'm too lazy to get out of the silly car and cross the silly street. So, all groggy and not really paying attention to matters, I begin to pull out of my parking spot when, 'what's this?, I just felt a bump and, oh look, the lil' pine scented air freshner dangling from the mirror in the spiffy, brand new Dodge Stratus in front of me is swingin' to and fro. It appears my dear Sabbie has found a new friend and is giving them a smooch on the rear of all places, how cute!'
I pull my car back and get out to leer over the damage I have wrought with the power most high. Not bad, a small scrape on the bumper of the Dodge. Just then, the proud owner walks out of the Starbucks and begins headin' my way. "Should I get back in my car and peel out all Starsky and Hutch like? Naw, he's already seen me, that would be rude." So, I stand there waiting for what's to come all the while this other fellow has a look of hesitancy about him as if he's thinking I'm going to mug him or something. He gets close enough and I tell him of my faux pas, he looks at the scrape on his bumper and calmly asks, "Well, what are you going to do about it." "Do about what? Do about what, what, what....(starts moving about in slow motion, waving arms around, and bouncing) You're having a dream, go back to sleep."
I did the responsible thing, was the least I could do seeing as how I was caught dead to rights anyway, and assured him I had insurance and gave him the coveted information. We then shook hands, promised to email each other and maybe go clubbing some time but, I really doubt that will ever happen. I drove back home and pondered how my rates wouldn't be going up if I had just stayed in bed or gone inside the Starbucks as planned. Ironic that today is known as Hump day 'cause I feel like I just screwed myself between the peaches.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
karma:
cantaloupe-terrier ... That was LOL. I snorted even. 
annisa:
ha ha...I couldn't even look at the last one for awhile..and I don't even have a penis..but it still hurt!