hansel

Caution: Real Journal Entry. Like it was a real journal. Not some witty thing to throw up to maintain my thinly veiled attempt at staying engaged in life, or the internet, or whatever. Well, fuck all. I need to vent.

I've sort of reached my annual end of the ability to cope with life thing. You know, the time when little problems are enough to break you for a day. I'm not unhappy, but I need a catharsis bad. Or a really hot girl to fill my spiritual void.

I can't seem to remember to call my Dad. I feel bad as shit about it. He gave me money the last time I saw him, and I can't pick up the phone. There's so much, yet so little homework. It's like I have this constant pressure on me, that I just sort of leave dry, waiting. Is it stupid? Should I just write this paper? Yes, then I can feel good about not doing it. I can't even do simple things because I feel guilty about the homework. But I'll play video games all night. Fuck.

So my truck broke on Thanksgiving. I've been assured by lots of people that it's not major. I believe them, sure. But fuck ass if I know if they're really right. I won't know until the mechanice tries to bury his bone in my Ass. Thankfully I have a sugar daddy. I may end up worse off, but at least he'll pay for it in the interim. And get it off my moms property. That bitch told my sister she'd have it towed. I'm so glad i ended up being raised by the parent that would leave me in the forest to the wolves if it saved her a dime. But she can fulfill some Oprah complex by giving my cousins CARS to fill the vacuum in her dead and wasting soul. Seriously, fuck her. I don't know why I bother. Oh yeah, because I want an iPod for Christmas.

I wish there was a drug that could make me not care about this, yet not ruin my life or take my teeth away.

I know I say I never do this, but fuck it. It's me right now in so many ways. I met this guy last week. He's nice as shit.

PROM NIGHT AT HATER HIGH
-Long Winters

Sitting there where you buried your pets
Get up! Well dig graves for your invisible friends
Now I cant stand to hear another thing explained
Your trip to Spain
Your childhood pain
So wont you quit talking down to your girlfriend
Oh, I see, youre not fighting, youre flirting
Well I hope its exciting
These kids are my age its strange to say
Look up! Every star is singing in space
But I am motionless on this tiny strip
My conscience is clean
I can see everything
Well, the girls meet to dish the dirt but its them!
I heard their conversation it made me laugh
They talk about the magic man
Like they ever had him

Jet City wont let you go without a fight
You see the pod people on prom night
At Hater High
Dont stay up late to cry
Youve got a big trip to plan
Say goodbye to your old friends
Say goodbye, goodbye Jet City

She showed up for our date five years late
She said youre so sexy and so great
Arent you gonna show me where you sing your downtown song?
I said, Downtowns gone! Downtowns gone!
Now my only ties to that old scene
Are the same mean people in pre-owned jeans
I used to love them all
But they burned me up, Goodbye.