hannah

I sit here in the dark listening to AFI's "But home is nowhere." I hear the rain outside and it reflects my current mood. I as well am crying. I think about how everything went wrong and how you just walked away like I was nothing. You should be on a plane on your way out here but instead I am left all alone. I am left with nothing because you took everything that I had. I gave you my love and my heart and still that wasn't enough. I would have done anything for you and your fears of the unknown made you scared. I hope that you know how much this hurts me. How a second doesn't go by with out my eyes filling with water or my chest closing up. I loved you the way I have never before. I will love you today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life. And everyday I wake up I will lose a little bit more because you aren't laying next to me rubbing my cheeks. The thought of never being able to put my lips against yours or feeling you inside me will haunt me. All I have left is DC and the words you have spoke to me.

You should be here, laying next to me. I should have woke to the heat of your body and to your skin touching mine. Yet, I wake to an empty bed which sends chills all over me. I am hesitant to leave the security of my sheets because my day will be long and lonely since you aren't here. I just want to sleep time away. How do I not think of you every second of the next 3 days? How do I not think of the things that I am missing and all the conversations we should have had? How am I suppose to just go on like this wasn't suppose to happen? How am I suppose to stop feeling the way that I do for you? How do I breath again knowing that you won't ever be walking through my front door or taking a bubble bath with me? All I have is 72 hours of hell to remind me of you...