hamura

What happened is I got drunk a few days ago at this guy from class I know's house while my boyfriend was in Northridge visiting a friend and I ended up doing some things I shouldn't have. I mean, like, worst-case scenario.

He says he wants to work it out, and I'm not really sure why he would accept me back. I didn't even ask to be--I certainly didn't expect to be. The truth is, we had problems prior to this and this is one big steaming dump on the big steaming dump pile. I shouldn't divulge too much information, but I've been with Stefan for two years now and one of the last bits of information in my profile over here to the left was what had been weighing on me heavily.

I can't take any of this back. God I wish I could. I'm not into having an affair, that's just not what I want. But I made a mistake, an incredible mistake and I'll never be able to forget it. I don't even know if I'll ever beat this stigma.

I LOVE Stefan. He is my heart. He saw me for the first time since this happened last thursday last night. It felt like the first time I ever saw him. Hugging him felt like I was connecting a part of me that'd been ripped out--it hasn't felt like this in years. I'm actually really excited to see him today. He told me he was in love with me and he wanted to be with me. I haven't heard that in so long... I want to be in love again.