In the kissing group someone asked about 1st kiss experiences and I thought I would share mine but the story, since I am incapable of summation or anything close to telling a "simple" story, would have taken way more room than I wanted to use so I decided to turn it into a blog entry. Hope you enjoy my misery! 24 years later I am still a little embarrassed to admit to what you are about to read.
October 5th, 1994: My 16th birthday, also my first date.
I had a crush on her since the 6th grade when she moved into the area from some other state. Immediately she was befriended by all the cool/popular kids because where she was from they had current fashion and professional sports teams. I, on the other hand stood on the outside, an art nerd in a school of Neanderthals. Four years of sharing teachers and classes had served to fuel my secret affection and from a distance I sketched her face on desks, notebooks, napkins, and in the margins of my memory. Every detail from her slightly crooked front tooth, to the lines that lingered around her eyes after an honest smile. Did she even knew I existed? Apparently she did!
Sophomore year i turned 16 and we were in a play together acting opposite each other in a musical. We had been hanging out off and on. I felt more confident in my realm of art, song, and dance than her other world of jocks and shopping and so I asked her on a date, what was to be my first date, for the 5th of October and she said "yes."
The day arrived and we, along with several friends from the play all went roller skating and out to ice cream. I must interject that at this time I had purchased my first car as well, a 1968 VW beetle that I spent every waking moment trying to get running just for this date. A few hours before I was to pick her up I finally got the motor reassembled and in the tail of the car. After a few tries and a bit more tuning,it finally came to life. Not only was I going on a date in MY own car, I was Dr. freaking Frankenstein to boot. I showered, got dressed, jumped in my car and went to pick here up.
the details of the date are faded and irrelevant, we roller skated, what more is there to it. I held her hand during a couples skate and we both fell down a time or two, laughing at each other whenever it happened. In the end, I took her home and along the way we decided to take a walk along the canyon rim. Here is where the magic was supposed to start, instead it turned into a violent mess of flailing limbs, a bloodied nose, and a black eye.
"We still have a little time before you have to go home, do you want to go stargazing?" I asked her, a tremble in my voice that I hoped she wouldn't pick up on. This was the moment I had been anticipating all night. My one attempt at making this as memorable for her as for me. I had, over the past few weeks collected every glow in the dark star sticker I could lay my hands on and placed them on the ceiling of my car. The plan was to charge the stars using a flashlight and, since I knew it would be too cold to stargaze outside, make up constellation while staring at the glowing ceiling with the chairs reclined. A classic VW, as anyone who has owned on knows, has an incredibly poor heating system so in order to stay warm we would have to cuddle up and share a blanket which I had brought fro just this occasion. It was all about the details and I thought I knew how the conversation would go. By now we were parked near the trail that ran along the canyon rim and the engine was stalled.
"isn't it a bit cold for that?" There was a lilt to her voice that was melodic and innocent. It always made my heart skip a little.
"Hang on, I have something for that." I reclined my chair, reached behind her seat and pulled out the flashlight. positioning it between the chairs the beam is harsh and too bright to be on for more than a few moments. Fortunately that is all I need it for. On the far side of her chair there is a quick release knob that allows me to drop her chair back as well and, like a David Copperfield, magically pull a fleece blanket from its hiding spot. In one fluid motion, which I have been practicing for weeks leading up to this moment, I flick the light on lean her chair back, spread the blanket over the two of us, and flick the light back off. The whole process takes less than a minute and we are engulfed in the eerie darkness that comes as your eyes readjust after exposure to a bright light.
Slowly the stars above us begin to take shape and she looks over at me, a coy smile playing across her lips.
"You're such a dork!" her statement is flirty and hinted with teasing. I bring my arm under her head and the two of us lean into a single moment of intimate fun. The last one for the night.
"Ok, so here we have ..." I begin to rattle off the names of various imaginary stars and constellations. Together we laugh and she begins to elaborate on my nerdiness. After a few laughs I look over at her and get the feeling that maybe I can pull this off. Mustering up all the courage my manly 120 pound figure can muster I lean over to make my move.
WHAM!
out of no where I get caught square in the eye with a right hook. Now I am seeing stars everywhere and in the background there is nervous laughter and multiple apologies. I'm a little stunned and as I go to sit up and clear my head ...
WHAM!
Now there is much less laughter and apologizing and more cursing mixed with what I think is crying. Instantly I come to my senses, though I can only see out of half my left eye; the lid is quickly swelling shut. I look over to where moments ago sat the girl of my dreams and now sat a sobbing teenage girl with her hands full of blood. What just happened? My head is still reeling a little from the knock out blow I suffered moments earlier, and there is still a little shock from the second blow which I can now see was delivered by my forehead.
"Oh my God! Are you OK? Here, use the blanket to help stem the bleeding!"
In less time than it took for Vanilla Ice to realize his career was going nowhere after "Ninja Rap", I realize that this night is now completely shot. I have misread the entire situation, landed a devastating blow to any chance I had at starting a relationship, and possibly broken the most perfect nose on the planet. This isn't even close to being the exact opposite of my perfect 1st date, this is some alternative dimension's equivalent of a horrible practical joke where my life as i knew it was instantly sucked into a vortex and I was left standing naked in front of all my peers. No that would have been preferable to what had just happened.
Desperately I try to make sure she is OK. I help calm her down, get the bleeding to stop, and apologize the whole time.
"I'm so sorry, I thought I would be OK to try for the kiss! I must have misread ... I'm so so so so so sorry! Here, you have a blood smear on your cheek."
"Oh my, your eye is completely swollen shut. Can you see alright? I swear I didn't mean to hit you. I was going to point out a constellation and your face sort of got in the way! I didn't see you coming, I'm sorry!
Back and forth the apologies flew, overlapping each other in a flurry of "Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should apologize" and "no, I'm the one who needs to be sorry you didn't ________ me on purpose!" Finally after realizing that the evening was a bust, and the conversation had reached a stalemate of apologies, seh leaned in and gently kissed my cheek.
"I think it's time I go home and get cleaned up. You need to put some ice on that eye to get the swelling down before the show tomorrow."
Frustrated, confused, and devastated, I turn key still sitting in the ignition, right my seat back and hers, and back out of the parking spot knowing that a second date is completely out of the question. In silence broken only by the occasional sniffle, we make our way back to her house. I park the car, this time leaving it running so I can beat a hasty retreat into my own brand of self-flagellation, and walk her to the door attempting to make small talk along the trek that now seems to be a million miles long. At her doorstep I proffer an awkward thank you and suggesting that despite it's conclusion the evening was still very enjoyable. And then my brain shuts off and lets my mouth just run wild for a single moment ...
"So can I try one last time for that kiss I was going for earlier?"
Did I just ask that? Oh god, oh god, please tell me that wasn't out loud. Tell me that was just a really loud thought that almost made it out, but i stopped it in time to save a little face at the close of the date!
Quickly, before I even realize what is happening she lightly grazes my lips with hers, turns for the door throwing a "good night" over her shoulder as the latch clicks shut and I am left standing somewhat bewildered
on the doorstep. Bells and whistles are blaring in my head as if it were the 4th of July and all the fireworks are just for me. She kissed me ...
SHE KISSED ME!
October 5th, 1994: My 16th birthday, also my first date.
I had a crush on her since the 6th grade when she moved into the area from some other state. Immediately she was befriended by all the cool/popular kids because where she was from they had current fashion and professional sports teams. I, on the other hand stood on the outside, an art nerd in a school of Neanderthals. Four years of sharing teachers and classes had served to fuel my secret affection and from a distance I sketched her face on desks, notebooks, napkins, and in the margins of my memory. Every detail from her slightly crooked front tooth, to the lines that lingered around her eyes after an honest smile. Did she even knew I existed? Apparently she did!
Sophomore year i turned 16 and we were in a play together acting opposite each other in a musical. We had been hanging out off and on. I felt more confident in my realm of art, song, and dance than her other world of jocks and shopping and so I asked her on a date, what was to be my first date, for the 5th of October and she said "yes."
The day arrived and we, along with several friends from the play all went roller skating and out to ice cream. I must interject that at this time I had purchased my first car as well, a 1968 VW beetle that I spent every waking moment trying to get running just for this date. A few hours before I was to pick her up I finally got the motor reassembled and in the tail of the car. After a few tries and a bit more tuning,it finally came to life. Not only was I going on a date in MY own car, I was Dr. freaking Frankenstein to boot. I showered, got dressed, jumped in my car and went to pick here up.
the details of the date are faded and irrelevant, we roller skated, what more is there to it. I held her hand during a couples skate and we both fell down a time or two, laughing at each other whenever it happened. In the end, I took her home and along the way we decided to take a walk along the canyon rim. Here is where the magic was supposed to start, instead it turned into a violent mess of flailing limbs, a bloodied nose, and a black eye.
"We still have a little time before you have to go home, do you want to go stargazing?" I asked her, a tremble in my voice that I hoped she wouldn't pick up on. This was the moment I had been anticipating all night. My one attempt at making this as memorable for her as for me. I had, over the past few weeks collected every glow in the dark star sticker I could lay my hands on and placed them on the ceiling of my car. The plan was to charge the stars using a flashlight and, since I knew it would be too cold to stargaze outside, make up constellation while staring at the glowing ceiling with the chairs reclined. A classic VW, as anyone who has owned on knows, has an incredibly poor heating system so in order to stay warm we would have to cuddle up and share a blanket which I had brought fro just this occasion. It was all about the details and I thought I knew how the conversation would go. By now we were parked near the trail that ran along the canyon rim and the engine was stalled.
"isn't it a bit cold for that?" There was a lilt to her voice that was melodic and innocent. It always made my heart skip a little.
"Hang on, I have something for that." I reclined my chair, reached behind her seat and pulled out the flashlight. positioning it between the chairs the beam is harsh and too bright to be on for more than a few moments. Fortunately that is all I need it for. On the far side of her chair there is a quick release knob that allows me to drop her chair back as well and, like a David Copperfield, magically pull a fleece blanket from its hiding spot. In one fluid motion, which I have been practicing for weeks leading up to this moment, I flick the light on lean her chair back, spread the blanket over the two of us, and flick the light back off. The whole process takes less than a minute and we are engulfed in the eerie darkness that comes as your eyes readjust after exposure to a bright light.
Slowly the stars above us begin to take shape and she looks over at me, a coy smile playing across her lips.
"You're such a dork!" her statement is flirty and hinted with teasing. I bring my arm under her head and the two of us lean into a single moment of intimate fun. The last one for the night.
"Ok, so here we have ..." I begin to rattle off the names of various imaginary stars and constellations. Together we laugh and she begins to elaborate on my nerdiness. After a few laughs I look over at her and get the feeling that maybe I can pull this off. Mustering up all the courage my manly 120 pound figure can muster I lean over to make my move.
WHAM!
out of no where I get caught square in the eye with a right hook. Now I am seeing stars everywhere and in the background there is nervous laughter and multiple apologies. I'm a little stunned and as I go to sit up and clear my head ...
WHAM!
Now there is much less laughter and apologizing and more cursing mixed with what I think is crying. Instantly I come to my senses, though I can only see out of half my left eye; the lid is quickly swelling shut. I look over to where moments ago sat the girl of my dreams and now sat a sobbing teenage girl with her hands full of blood. What just happened? My head is still reeling a little from the knock out blow I suffered moments earlier, and there is still a little shock from the second blow which I can now see was delivered by my forehead.
"Oh my God! Are you OK? Here, use the blanket to help stem the bleeding!"
In less time than it took for Vanilla Ice to realize his career was going nowhere after "Ninja Rap", I realize that this night is now completely shot. I have misread the entire situation, landed a devastating blow to any chance I had at starting a relationship, and possibly broken the most perfect nose on the planet. This isn't even close to being the exact opposite of my perfect 1st date, this is some alternative dimension's equivalent of a horrible practical joke where my life as i knew it was instantly sucked into a vortex and I was left standing naked in front of all my peers. No that would have been preferable to what had just happened.
Desperately I try to make sure she is OK. I help calm her down, get the bleeding to stop, and apologize the whole time.
"I'm so sorry, I thought I would be OK to try for the kiss! I must have misread ... I'm so so so so so sorry! Here, you have a blood smear on your cheek."
"Oh my, your eye is completely swollen shut. Can you see alright? I swear I didn't mean to hit you. I was going to point out a constellation and your face sort of got in the way! I didn't see you coming, I'm sorry!
Back and forth the apologies flew, overlapping each other in a flurry of "Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should apologize" and "no, I'm the one who needs to be sorry you didn't ________ me on purpose!" Finally after realizing that the evening was a bust, and the conversation had reached a stalemate of apologies, seh leaned in and gently kissed my cheek.
"I think it's time I go home and get cleaned up. You need to put some ice on that eye to get the swelling down before the show tomorrow."
Frustrated, confused, and devastated, I turn key still sitting in the ignition, right my seat back and hers, and back out of the parking spot knowing that a second date is completely out of the question. In silence broken only by the occasional sniffle, we make our way back to her house. I park the car, this time leaving it running so I can beat a hasty retreat into my own brand of self-flagellation, and walk her to the door attempting to make small talk along the trek that now seems to be a million miles long. At her doorstep I proffer an awkward thank you and suggesting that despite it's conclusion the evening was still very enjoyable. And then my brain shuts off and lets my mouth just run wild for a single moment ...
"So can I try one last time for that kiss I was going for earlier?"
Did I just ask that? Oh god, oh god, please tell me that wasn't out loud. Tell me that was just a really loud thought that almost made it out, but i stopped it in time to save a little face at the close of the date!
Quickly, before I even realize what is happening she lightly grazes my lips with hers, turns for the door throwing a "good night" over her shoulder as the latch clicks shut and I am left standing somewhat bewildered
on the doorstep. Bells and whistles are blaring in my head as if it were the 4th of July and all the fireworks are just for me. She kissed me ...
SHE KISSED ME!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
hamiwill:
I did, for a bit and them she dumped me for a kid who was in a band with me, sort of, he was our sound tech and I guess he knew how to balance her levels, if you know what I mean! lol
deny:
Thank you very much. I hope it's as easy to live by as it was in writing that. 