everyday i become more and more convinced that i should have become a traveling circus freak/carnie/sideshow/roadie person.
why?
-i would never have to stay in any one place for long periods of time.
-i could LIVE on beer battered onion rings.
-i have always wanted to hang upside-down naked from the mouth of an elephant.
-my college GPA would be insignificant.
-my trapeze skills could be of use.
-i like glitter.
-velvet is only appropiate when dyed magenta and studded with rhinestones.
-people wouldn't assume my bruises were the result of abuse.
in other news:
i am going to kill my roommate. the bitch has been pouring bong-water in the sink on top of a massive load of dirty dishes which have been there for weeks. i refuse to comment/touch them because they are not MY dishes. and now i'm eating with plastic utensils and paper plates. if i have to watch her veg out on the couch smoking pot and eating cake one more time while the kitchen remains the way it is i will fucking kill her. and if she giggles and complains about the "mess" i will jam her bong down her throat.
and who the fuck puts of 11" by 14" prints of their hairy box on the wall??
why?
-i would never have to stay in any one place for long periods of time.
-i could LIVE on beer battered onion rings.
-i have always wanted to hang upside-down naked from the mouth of an elephant.
-my college GPA would be insignificant.
-my trapeze skills could be of use.
-i like glitter.
-velvet is only appropiate when dyed magenta and studded with rhinestones.
-people wouldn't assume my bruises were the result of abuse.
in other news:
i am going to kill my roommate. the bitch has been pouring bong-water in the sink on top of a massive load of dirty dishes which have been there for weeks. i refuse to comment/touch them because they are not MY dishes. and now i'm eating with plastic utensils and paper plates. if i have to watch her veg out on the couch smoking pot and eating cake one more time while the kitchen remains the way it is i will fucking kill her. and if she giggles and complains about the "mess" i will jam her bong down her throat.
and who the fuck puts of 11" by 14" prints of their hairy box on the wall??
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another idea: hang the dirty dishes in place of the 'hairy box' pictures, throw the pictures in the sink, and wash the pictures? you'd kill 2 birds with one stone.
(i get way too much enjoyment out of thinking up things like this.