I uploaded the pictures. I'll put em up here and blog about em this weekend when I have some time. I should be sleeping right now, but I'm shaking and wired from an e-mail I just read. So I'm just gonna rap for a bit, k?
Since I was a little kid, whenever someone in my life died, be it family or friend, I usually responded in the very straightforward way of bein cool, I'm not gonna cry, and then proceeding to pick a fight with someone. Get em pissed off at me, and then they're made, and we're not close, and so it won't hurt if they die, right? Sounds logical enough. It hadn't played out this way for years though. The last few times it happened, I just went to the funeral, grieved, and just isolated myself for a spell. Much healthier.
Recently, I found myself somewhere in between. Wanting to push away, but not willing to pick a fight. Just sort of systematically telling people that I didn't wanna talk/hang no more. A handful of them. Adults, usually, act better than the yoots of my day. Most of these people were like no, dude, I'm here for you. Others were all k, I'll give you space, but I'm here when you need it. Cept one. And yeah, she's on here.
What's that Halfjack? Why would you talk about someone on here? Cuz, they're probably not reading this, and if they are, they aren't following their own damn rules.
But why would you get personally involved with someone on the sight? Again? Didn't you learn your lesson last time? Well technically, the last time she wasn't on here, I brought her on, and ditto with this time. The first time, well, they brought me on here.
But why do you keep getting involving the girls you're dating with the site? Don't you realize that when the relationship ends, that they'll be a hot single chick and you'll just be a dude on a porn site, not looking at porn, waiting for the people who used to talk to you to come back instead of talking to your exes? Remember when you were cool on here? Shut up.
My exes on here treat me like a black and white stereotype on here, so why shouldn't I think of them that way? Is that how you get over people? Is that how it stops hurting? You just, cease to think of it as a relationship that didn't work, with good and bad times, and just, say, what a bitch. Glad I'm not there anymore? Seems sort of evasive to me. I dunno. What do the 4 people who still read my blog think about this? Easier, maybe, but effective? I mean the e-mail I just read was your classic I'm perfectly happy with my new perfect love, and you were evil every step of the way, so fuck off and die kind of e-mail (is that common? It's something all three SG exes have in common. No one else though. Hmmmmm. Pattern there.......) So now I'm like, but what the, what about, and was it really necessary to mention, urghhhhhh!
I suppose it's best that they think I'm the devil, because if thinking they are likewise the same, I won't want to rectify, want to make happy, want to make smile, all that mushy shit. I won't want them, want to open up to someone who would actively try to hurt someone. Why would you do that? Why would you try to hurt someone? I mean, I've been an idiot in relationships, but I haven't tried to hurt someone since before I turned 18. Even then, it was just cuz, ya know, someone died.
I have ione of those blogs now, don't I? No pictures, all bitching, why don't girls like me, pushes glasses up? Ugh. I guess I should be spending more time learning how to "seduce a Suicidegirl" Oh well. The hope is, someone else will come along, that will be willing to give to me as much as I give to them, and they're pretty, confident, and smart, working on their issues, and the rest will be nice additions. But damn, I'm seeing a lot of wedding rings.
At this point I'm just typing to my self. I figure it's doubtful I'll stick around on here for much longer, so it might be worthwhile to REALLY weed out the unfaithful!
Night.
Since I was a little kid, whenever someone in my life died, be it family or friend, I usually responded in the very straightforward way of bein cool, I'm not gonna cry, and then proceeding to pick a fight with someone. Get em pissed off at me, and then they're made, and we're not close, and so it won't hurt if they die, right? Sounds logical enough. It hadn't played out this way for years though. The last few times it happened, I just went to the funeral, grieved, and just isolated myself for a spell. Much healthier.
Recently, I found myself somewhere in between. Wanting to push away, but not willing to pick a fight. Just sort of systematically telling people that I didn't wanna talk/hang no more. A handful of them. Adults, usually, act better than the yoots of my day. Most of these people were like no, dude, I'm here for you. Others were all k, I'll give you space, but I'm here when you need it. Cept one. And yeah, she's on here.
What's that Halfjack? Why would you talk about someone on here? Cuz, they're probably not reading this, and if they are, they aren't following their own damn rules.
But why would you get personally involved with someone on the sight? Again? Didn't you learn your lesson last time? Well technically, the last time she wasn't on here, I brought her on, and ditto with this time. The first time, well, they brought me on here.
But why do you keep getting involving the girls you're dating with the site? Don't you realize that when the relationship ends, that they'll be a hot single chick and you'll just be a dude on a porn site, not looking at porn, waiting for the people who used to talk to you to come back instead of talking to your exes? Remember when you were cool on here? Shut up.
My exes on here treat me like a black and white stereotype on here, so why shouldn't I think of them that way? Is that how you get over people? Is that how it stops hurting? You just, cease to think of it as a relationship that didn't work, with good and bad times, and just, say, what a bitch. Glad I'm not there anymore? Seems sort of evasive to me. I dunno. What do the 4 people who still read my blog think about this? Easier, maybe, but effective? I mean the e-mail I just read was your classic I'm perfectly happy with my new perfect love, and you were evil every step of the way, so fuck off and die kind of e-mail (is that common? It's something all three SG exes have in common. No one else though. Hmmmmm. Pattern there.......) So now I'm like, but what the, what about, and was it really necessary to mention, urghhhhhh!
I suppose it's best that they think I'm the devil, because if thinking they are likewise the same, I won't want to rectify, want to make happy, want to make smile, all that mushy shit. I won't want them, want to open up to someone who would actively try to hurt someone. Why would you do that? Why would you try to hurt someone? I mean, I've been an idiot in relationships, but I haven't tried to hurt someone since before I turned 18. Even then, it was just cuz, ya know, someone died.
I have ione of those blogs now, don't I? No pictures, all bitching, why don't girls like me, pushes glasses up? Ugh. I guess I should be spending more time learning how to "seduce a Suicidegirl" Oh well. The hope is, someone else will come along, that will be willing to give to me as much as I give to them, and they're pretty, confident, and smart, working on their issues, and the rest will be nice additions. But damn, I'm seeing a lot of wedding rings.
At this point I'm just typing to my self. I figure it's doubtful I'll stick around on here for much longer, so it might be worthwhile to REALLY weed out the unfaithful!
Night.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
seriously though- unwarranted fuck you emails say a lot about a person. you shouldn't take them to heart. all it does is say that the relationship being over is the way it should be.
there's really no perfect way to get over someone. it just happens over time. or rather, it lessens. i think you'll always carry a part of them with you. personally i think one should embrace the pain, acknowledge it, and just do their damndest to get through each day as best as they can. and every day it'll get a little easier. and then years down the line you can look at it objectively. really all it boils down to is breaking the neurological pathways in your brain pertaining to that person. and in the same way that a body heals, your brain will eventually retrain itself to not think a certain way.
if it's any consolation, i'm dealing with drama because several of my exes friends told him that they wanted to stay friends with me. he's been fighting with them over it. like, dude, grow up. we're all adults here, and we spent all this time together, what did you expect to happen? i have not made any attempts to contact him in any way. i have not brought one iota of drama into his life. so all this attitude is telling me is that he's a big crybaby whiner, and i'm better off without him. (this coming from a man who had his next girlfriend on deck before he even dumped me! puh-lease!) some people are just selfish and immature.
anyway, this got wordy real fast. hang in there darlin. and seriously... watch out for those sg's.