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haemae

The Bottom Of a Cafetiere

Member Since 2007

Followers 14 Following 32

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Sunday Mar 16, 2008

Mar 16, 2008
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I was just wondering what everyone thinks is in store for them, I mean with life and so forth? Will you pleasure seek, either intellectually or physically? Will you deign to give other people a helping hand? Will you simply moulder and fester in a heap until the one constant of life ceases to let you exist?

Will you become religious?

Will you believe in a soul?

Will you become a glutton?

Will you get married and have kids?

Will you defeat your fears, or pander to their every beck and whim?

Do you believe in fate or do you have control over what happens to you next?

Does this matter anyway?


I'm tired of skittering from my shadow, bewildered by the footprint I make on the rest of the world; I realise, through close questioning and an unassailable lack of answers, that we create our own worlds, some corpses with barely penetrable rose glass in the windows of their primitive Caves, still bound to the wall by iron manacles, beaten daily, the bondage and pain that is a choice for many carcasses; they know nothing better. Others with scorched retinas from the harsh nuclear glare of reality, is this really Libertas? Cogito ergo Sum?
~~~
Rocks block my way, trip and fall, the harsh flints tearing my fragile skin, bones fracturing, giving my body to the earth as many have before. Out of my mind, inertia clouding.
~~~
Sweet fleeing. I forget I'm here, what I'm here for, trespassing with this phantom, this scout. Sanguine through my arteries, egress my body, ecstasy comes over me as the beings I once fought come to feed on my shattered remains.
~~~
I was once locked in a very mortal combat with these vicious incarnations, these faceless entities that rip and tear at my feet, amputating my ability to ground myself, nibbling at my tendons, deconstructing me, making me dysfunctional, one brutal incisor, trepanning my skull, sensuous release.
~~~
Breaking of a lychee skin, a sweet splitting, breaking the serenity, down to my being; that hard stone that refuses to succumb, unquestioning, merely functional. Life blood dripping like nectar, deceptive.
~~~
Through the winter I lay dormant, pandering to the whims of those around me, letting my fragile husk be scarred and beaten, spring brings winds which carry both good and bad on their backs, urged on by the whipping rains, peeling off the scabbed and ruined skin, finding new pink derma, tissue paper Underneath It All, who would have guessed that I could heal? Scimitar in hand, Rubicon.
~~~
Summer brings a metamorphosis, excruciating transformation, war like attitudes, memories of battles gone by, harsh calls beneath the canvas, bucking with pleasure, teeth tearing, nails clawing, assailing body and mind, skin clenching, mind morphing, Fucking.
~~~
Apparitions left dormant, a path unexplored, pleasure that still exists, has reverted to a caustic solution, in between the cracks, as I freeze and thaw, the bile works deep into the core. Leafs crackle beneath a worn foot, memories a sliver of cognition, undisturbed, dormant. A mere husk.
_______________________________________________________________
It is not the conclusion, merely the journey, that is the sequitur.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tadzi:
yeah, i can identify with the sentiment of, "not doing dating." at this point, ive come to the realization that i should never ever date anyone im attracted to.

i, like most people, end up dating the same archtypes over and over again. while all the girls ive dated are different as individuals, they all share the same types of neuroses and most of these seem to involve indecisiveness and lack of dependability. in other words, if a girl is into me, shes most likely going to have the same issues. its kind of shitty that we cant control whom we are attracted to, much less whom we attract. at this point, id rather just stay alone then submit to someones inevitable cheating/ditching/betrayal of me.
Mar 18, 2008
linedrawing:
Going to the UK, actually. But some neobeatnikery and world-wandering is truly in order. Not philosophising but being, is sort of where I'm aiming for. Feeling too restless to delve inside my own head. smile Thanks for finding me on here, too, I like unknown people crossing my path. smile xx
Apr 18, 2008

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