Friday, 28 April, 2006
12:01:17 PM
she dropped by a short while ago to tell me that i will have to be the one to pick up devon today; her mom is in town, and wants her to see her grandaughter. i can understand that. that will not be a problem. at least she didn't bring her boyfriend this time. it makes me feel bad when i see her, and she looks good. /really/ good. i know that i won't ever go back to her. we don't work together. but damn, she looked good. it's ok to look, isn't it? or does that just lead down a path better not taken? *long, deep sigh* it's a bit confusing. i thought for sure i knew how i felt, and now i don't. i mean, i do...but do i? do i /really/?
i have my final monday. my final in networking. hey, this was a pretty easy class. subnetting kinda sucked. novell definately blows. i think it'd have been a bit easier if i had the book... yeah, taking a college course with no book is not generally recommended. my last test i got a D. i figured i would - it was on novell: which i've never dealt with before. hopefully the final will go much better. altho, it will be up to 300 questions. damn, that sucks. ah well, after i finish that, i'll treat myself to something nice. ice cream, perhaps.
i got my unemployment check; my step mom deposited it for me. i turned my phone back on, payed off my overdraft fees, and i now have.... 66. /sweet/. i love being poor. i owe my dad a hundred bucks for parts for my car. he wants that soon. i owe rent soon. and don't even get me started on the bills that i still owe on - collections coming after me all the time for old hospital bills that haven't been paid off yet. what a bother. gas is nearing $3/gal, which it will supposedly hit by summer... and only go up from there, i'm sure. oil companies are reporting record gains... up 19%. the economy in michigan is horrible - and hundreds of people are being laid off every day. me getting a job right now is more of a wish. i'm going to seriously consider looking for work in canada. it's only an hour's drive from here, and once i'm in...i'm in. i might even be able to get dual citizenship... for myself, and my daughter. that will serve us both more in life than just US citizenship. i really think it's time for me to look there. maybe i'll drive up there next weekend. i'll ask sarah if she wants to take devon. yeah... that's not a bad idea.
at any rate. it's time to take a shower, and get ready to pick up devon. we've got a bit of a drive in front of us. toodles.
Thursday, 27 April, 2006
10:48:41 AM
i confronted sarah yesterday when i returned devon. i said, "hey, what you did yesterday was really inappropriate." she looked at me with her ignorant face and asked what it was that she did. i returned with, "bringing your boyfriend along is inappropriate. do NOT do it again." of course, well enough is never enough. she fought it, saying that she /had/ to take him along, because she just had her surgery, and couldn't carry more than ten pounds, and that her sister was away and her dad was sleeping, and she tried to send me a text message - but my phone is shut off... all excuses. she could have walked up, knocked, and said, "hey, come downstairs and get her." easy as that. but she likes to be defiant. even when she knows she's wrong. or maybe she doesn't have a soul. i'm leaning toward the latter.
waking up in the morning with fire-shits is something no one should ever have to experience. especially when it's 6:30 in the AM. fuck that. altho, i think i figured out why. we lost power yesterday for a couple of hours. or was it the day before...? at any rate, everything in the freezer thawed, and i'm sure all the stuff in the fridge is bad now too. i didn't think of this until after i ate a /heaping/ helping of pizza rolls - previoiusly stored in the freezer. my mistake. the rest will be promply thrown out.
dan came and repo'd my laptop. if you ask me, that's some fucking /bullshit/. he said to me, "hans, if you can build another one for us to sell, you can build one for yourself and keep it." that's exactly what i did. in fact, i built him /three/ more...and he sold them all. far covering the cost of the ten broken ones we had used for parts. we had four all together, i took one, he sold three. this one was mine. to keep. he came over the other day and fucking took it from me. he WILL be replacing it, or i will be replacing his balls. with my shoe. over and over again. that just pisses me off. you know who your real friends are when it comes down to money. asshat.
Tuesday, 25 April, 2006
10:42:32 PM
it never gets old hearing it: "i'm proud of you, hans." yeah. damn straight. i've worked my ass off to get to where i am. people see that. people respect that. it feels good that someone notices. i know my dad is proud too, but he'll never say it. instead i get the cynical "you fucked up. i told you not to fuck up, but you did it anyway. you should have listened to me." hey, right, i know /guy/. thanks. he tries tho. he's just missing that gene. it's ok, i don't hold it against him. he does his best, and i let it go. with a smile, generally.
it felt good winning in court. granted, it's not about "winning" and "losing"; it's about devon, and what's fair. but honestly, dammit, i /won/. it's been just over a week since we went to court. sarah's been in the hospital. some kidney stone or the like. it's unfortunate for her, and, granted i feel bad for her. she got some sort of surgery; the one of which my step mom had not a couple of weeks prior. i knew it was nothing major - an in-and-out job. i do hope she recovers nicely. i may not have feelings for her (or i may, it's hard to say. i don't think so tho. just...lust. got the itch, ya know?) but she did something highly inappropriate - to which my blood boiled, and my face burned. she dropped devon off this afternoon (late, as per normal) and brought with her some /guy/. presumablly her new love interest. do i care that she's sleeping with someone? no. not in the least. but it is extremely inappropriate to have him, whoever he is, over to /my/ house... and i will make sure she hears about it later. it just pisses me off to no end. there's no respect.
my car is still broken - it's been several weeks.the brakes went, two flats, and a wheel broke off at the spindle...all in the same day. what a morning that was. i'd swear it was a monday, but it was more of a thursday. at any rate, dad was supposed to drop by and fix it this afternoon, but couldn't get his hands on the part. ted had to drop by and give me the news, because my phone was shut off earlier today. i hope that he [my father] understands that he really screwed me by not coming - even if he didn't have the part. his wife was supposed to bring some baby food - which i'll be needing very soon. he also has my unemployment check. rent is due, my phone is shut off, my bank account is in the hole...again, i'm out of food, i owe the hospital still - and new to the list: i have a ticket to pay.
har har! a ticket! you can get those, even when your friend is driving. it's really lame. ugh. i think it's for $65, but we'll see when i call the courts. the infraction? driving with no seatbelt. it's funny. the truck (which belongs to chris) is an '88 ford /something/ and isn't in the best of shape. 98% of the time the seatbelts don't work anyhow - so we just gave up trying. unfortunately, a cop noticed, and pulled us over. two cops, to be exact. we both got hit with the ticket. what's even more of a kicker - the seatbelt decided to work right after the cops pulled their 'u'. karma, you're a bitch.
not much more. pop culture is lame. long live the underground.
12:01:17 PM
she dropped by a short while ago to tell me that i will have to be the one to pick up devon today; her mom is in town, and wants her to see her grandaughter. i can understand that. that will not be a problem. at least she didn't bring her boyfriend this time. it makes me feel bad when i see her, and she looks good. /really/ good. i know that i won't ever go back to her. we don't work together. but damn, she looked good. it's ok to look, isn't it? or does that just lead down a path better not taken? *long, deep sigh* it's a bit confusing. i thought for sure i knew how i felt, and now i don't. i mean, i do...but do i? do i /really/?
i have my final monday. my final in networking. hey, this was a pretty easy class. subnetting kinda sucked. novell definately blows. i think it'd have been a bit easier if i had the book... yeah, taking a college course with no book is not generally recommended. my last test i got a D. i figured i would - it was on novell: which i've never dealt with before. hopefully the final will go much better. altho, it will be up to 300 questions. damn, that sucks. ah well, after i finish that, i'll treat myself to something nice. ice cream, perhaps.
i got my unemployment check; my step mom deposited it for me. i turned my phone back on, payed off my overdraft fees, and i now have.... 66. /sweet/. i love being poor. i owe my dad a hundred bucks for parts for my car. he wants that soon. i owe rent soon. and don't even get me started on the bills that i still owe on - collections coming after me all the time for old hospital bills that haven't been paid off yet. what a bother. gas is nearing $3/gal, which it will supposedly hit by summer... and only go up from there, i'm sure. oil companies are reporting record gains... up 19%. the economy in michigan is horrible - and hundreds of people are being laid off every day. me getting a job right now is more of a wish. i'm going to seriously consider looking for work in canada. it's only an hour's drive from here, and once i'm in...i'm in. i might even be able to get dual citizenship... for myself, and my daughter. that will serve us both more in life than just US citizenship. i really think it's time for me to look there. maybe i'll drive up there next weekend. i'll ask sarah if she wants to take devon. yeah... that's not a bad idea.
at any rate. it's time to take a shower, and get ready to pick up devon. we've got a bit of a drive in front of us. toodles.
Thursday, 27 April, 2006
10:48:41 AM
i confronted sarah yesterday when i returned devon. i said, "hey, what you did yesterday was really inappropriate." she looked at me with her ignorant face and asked what it was that she did. i returned with, "bringing your boyfriend along is inappropriate. do NOT do it again." of course, well enough is never enough. she fought it, saying that she /had/ to take him along, because she just had her surgery, and couldn't carry more than ten pounds, and that her sister was away and her dad was sleeping, and she tried to send me a text message - but my phone is shut off... all excuses. she could have walked up, knocked, and said, "hey, come downstairs and get her." easy as that. but she likes to be defiant. even when she knows she's wrong. or maybe she doesn't have a soul. i'm leaning toward the latter.
waking up in the morning with fire-shits is something no one should ever have to experience. especially when it's 6:30 in the AM. fuck that. altho, i think i figured out why. we lost power yesterday for a couple of hours. or was it the day before...? at any rate, everything in the freezer thawed, and i'm sure all the stuff in the fridge is bad now too. i didn't think of this until after i ate a /heaping/ helping of pizza rolls - previoiusly stored in the freezer. my mistake. the rest will be promply thrown out.
dan came and repo'd my laptop. if you ask me, that's some fucking /bullshit/. he said to me, "hans, if you can build another one for us to sell, you can build one for yourself and keep it." that's exactly what i did. in fact, i built him /three/ more...and he sold them all. far covering the cost of the ten broken ones we had used for parts. we had four all together, i took one, he sold three. this one was mine. to keep. he came over the other day and fucking took it from me. he WILL be replacing it, or i will be replacing his balls. with my shoe. over and over again. that just pisses me off. you know who your real friends are when it comes down to money. asshat.
Tuesday, 25 April, 2006
10:42:32 PM
it never gets old hearing it: "i'm proud of you, hans." yeah. damn straight. i've worked my ass off to get to where i am. people see that. people respect that. it feels good that someone notices. i know my dad is proud too, but he'll never say it. instead i get the cynical "you fucked up. i told you not to fuck up, but you did it anyway. you should have listened to me." hey, right, i know /guy/. thanks. he tries tho. he's just missing that gene. it's ok, i don't hold it against him. he does his best, and i let it go. with a smile, generally.
it felt good winning in court. granted, it's not about "winning" and "losing"; it's about devon, and what's fair. but honestly, dammit, i /won/. it's been just over a week since we went to court. sarah's been in the hospital. some kidney stone or the like. it's unfortunate for her, and, granted i feel bad for her. she got some sort of surgery; the one of which my step mom had not a couple of weeks prior. i knew it was nothing major - an in-and-out job. i do hope she recovers nicely. i may not have feelings for her (or i may, it's hard to say. i don't think so tho. just...lust. got the itch, ya know?) but she did something highly inappropriate - to which my blood boiled, and my face burned. she dropped devon off this afternoon (late, as per normal) and brought with her some /guy/. presumablly her new love interest. do i care that she's sleeping with someone? no. not in the least. but it is extremely inappropriate to have him, whoever he is, over to /my/ house... and i will make sure she hears about it later. it just pisses me off to no end. there's no respect.
my car is still broken - it's been several weeks.the brakes went, two flats, and a wheel broke off at the spindle...all in the same day. what a morning that was. i'd swear it was a monday, but it was more of a thursday. at any rate, dad was supposed to drop by and fix it this afternoon, but couldn't get his hands on the part. ted had to drop by and give me the news, because my phone was shut off earlier today. i hope that he [my father] understands that he really screwed me by not coming - even if he didn't have the part. his wife was supposed to bring some baby food - which i'll be needing very soon. he also has my unemployment check. rent is due, my phone is shut off, my bank account is in the hole...again, i'm out of food, i owe the hospital still - and new to the list: i have a ticket to pay.
har har! a ticket! you can get those, even when your friend is driving. it's really lame. ugh. i think it's for $65, but we'll see when i call the courts. the infraction? driving with no seatbelt. it's funny. the truck (which belongs to chris) is an '88 ford /something/ and isn't in the best of shape. 98% of the time the seatbelts don't work anyhow - so we just gave up trying. unfortunately, a cop noticed, and pulled us over. two cops, to be exact. we both got hit with the ticket. what's even more of a kicker - the seatbelt decided to work right after the cops pulled their 'u'. karma, you're a bitch.
not much more. pop culture is lame. long live the underground.