h_degree

I dont know how many of you have read some of my earlier blogs but for thos who have youll understand my problem, my track record in relationships have not been so good. yet im trying to work things out with my current relationship if i can call it that but yet not a complete relationship because things kinda went alil fast even though i said and wanted to take it slow but i guess i jumped the gun alil too soon do to reasons of just being over whelmed and fearfull of having history repeat it self over again of lossing someone i care about. my past girls friends did to me something that just leaves a scare thats alil hard to forget. and when they do that to me they become nothing but a distant memory to me and someone i never want to talk to again. but this time things are different this one i dont want to belive is going to do to me that the others did and i dont want to disapper but after all my worrieing and jumping to conclution i just dont know anymore but deep inside i want things to work out and be happy with her and her be happy with me. she deserves to be happy shes had enough go wrong in her life and so much trouble getting back up i found myself burdening her as well. i never ment to be any trouble myself and i know i should have givin her her space and let her just contact me when she was ready but like i said i became fearfull of losing her and paniced. i wanted to be supportive and someone she could trust. in the begining she did share with me but as of late i feel like shes pushing me away. i can kinda understand the reasons but all i ask is that she trust me. as hard as that is to ask of her the only thing i can do is just leave her alone. but i find myself making a big mistake of cutting myself off from her. i want her to know how much i care but i dont know how if we cant talk atleast on the phone. thats all i ask is to be heard for just a few min. i want nothing but the best for her. to make her feel loved and to love back with out questioning her life. to feel free of burden and to be happy again. no longer having to put on a fake face just to make others think she ok. to honestly and truly be happy.