So, I have this mole that Im worried about.
See that one just above my knee? Its always been there, you can see it in my baby pictures (I tried to find one to post, but apparently I dont have any in my computer). Ive wanted to have it biopsied for a long time. Ive looked up on the internet, countless times, what signs I should be looking for, and when to have a mole checked by your doctor. I always find things that make me worry. Bigger than a pencil eraser? Check. Not symmetrical? Check. Is the outline bumpy with notches in the side? Check. Uneven color? Check. Has it changed? Check. Yet, every time I ask a doctor about it, I get blown off.
Typical conversation at the doctors office -
Me: Doctor, Im worried about this mole.
Doctor: Oh, dont worry about, its fine.
Me: But I looked it up and it says if your mole has x,y, and z, you should have your doctor check it.
Doctor: Nope, its fine.
Me: But doctor, melanoma runs in my family.
Doctor: Its fine, let me know if it changes.
Me: But it has changed.
Doctor: Blank stare, and change the subject.
There is now 3 very distinct lighter spots on it that werent there before. I want to have it checked but I dont really have a doctor. Remember how Dr. B. was supposed to call me and let me know if I can even go there anymore because of the billing issues (Maybe I Still Dont Have a Doctor?)? Well, he never called. Toast called several times and left a message with the receptionist, and we never got a call back. This is why I want to find a new doctor, even if I can still go there. I need to find a doctor, but how do you do that, especially when you dont trust them at all?
Toast was supposed to call there today and find out if I can be seen and if so make an appointment because I need to have this checked. He made an appointment. The lady he talked to said that we could just come in and pay cash, but Im worried that Ill go, and hell say he cant do anything for the same reasons as last time. The problem isnt whether or not Medicaid will cover it, its whether or not he will have to bill Medicaid because of the original mistake. If that is the case, he wont get paid for seeing me, and obviously he doesnt want to do that.
This isnt my only issues with doctors at the moment. Molly wanted me to try Singulair. She sent a note to Dr. Millers (allergy and asthma) about it. When Toast talked to them, they wanted to know how I was doing with my 6 week treatment of antibiotics. Um, hello, I was having side effects and you told me to discontinue the antibiotic. Then we got a call awhile back about you having a note about my side effects, and you wanted to know what was going on. We told you that you already told me to discontinue and now, you still think that Im taking them? What the fuck? I have no faith in doctors, what so ever. I havent even been able to get myself to take the progesterone. Something about man made hormones just doesnt seem right to me. I keep planning on looking it up and trying to find natural ways to increase them, but I keep putting it off. I think in part because I know taking hormones can cause vomiting (What is a Phobia, Truly?), I didnt get sick when I used to take birth control, so that makes me feel a little better, but still. Also, I think it scares me, unless I know that Im working with a doctor that knows what theyre doing, and I trust. I dont know that that person exists.
In other news, Toast found a lawyer, and I guess he wont have to do any jail time. Im not sure what is actually going on. When I asked Toast what the lawyer said, this is the conversation that followed -
Toast: I dont know, he said he had to do this thing, and I wont have to go to jail.
Me: Do you have to do anything else?
Toast: I dont know, I might have go to the pretrial or something.
All he heard was that he doesnt have to go to jail, so thats all that I know at the moment. That makes me really happy, and you would think that I would be ecstatic, but my mood is not so great today. I woke up from an awful dream. Ive had this dream before, which worries me, what am I supposed to be getting from it? If Im to take the dream literally, I am not a happy camper, and if not, if its symbolic, of what? Also, the past few days, Ive been having random images of Chance periodically invading my mind. There good images, happy, cute things she did, but it makes me sad, I miss her. Then, I was talking on the phone with Toast a little bit ago and he told me something that initially pissed me the fuck off, but now Im not sure how Im feeling about it.
Theyve hired a new guy to work at the shop with him, and the hours are going to be split up. Toast = Tuesday Thursday, noon-6, Friday and Saturday, noon -8. The other guy will be coming in at 4 and working later. On the one hand, I do like the fact that he will be getting out earlier. However, there will be another artist there, so he doesnt automatically get every tattoo that walks through the door and you have no idea how many times hes sat there all day, doing nothing, and then someone walks in at 7pm, and he calls and says hes going to be late. More people come in later. He doesnt make that much money in the busy season. Winter he hardly makes anything, we cant afford for him to make less. Its already started to slow down, and with the days that the shop was closed and all that, hes only made $200 so far this month *sigh*
Stolen from my Wordpress blog, Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
See that one just above my knee? Its always been there, you can see it in my baby pictures (I tried to find one to post, but apparently I dont have any in my computer). Ive wanted to have it biopsied for a long time. Ive looked up on the internet, countless times, what signs I should be looking for, and when to have a mole checked by your doctor. I always find things that make me worry. Bigger than a pencil eraser? Check. Not symmetrical? Check. Is the outline bumpy with notches in the side? Check. Uneven color? Check. Has it changed? Check. Yet, every time I ask a doctor about it, I get blown off.
Typical conversation at the doctors office -
Me: Doctor, Im worried about this mole.
Doctor: Oh, dont worry about, its fine.
Me: But I looked it up and it says if your mole has x,y, and z, you should have your doctor check it.
Doctor: Nope, its fine.
Me: But doctor, melanoma runs in my family.
Doctor: Its fine, let me know if it changes.
Me: But it has changed.
Doctor: Blank stare, and change the subject.
There is now 3 very distinct lighter spots on it that werent there before. I want to have it checked but I dont really have a doctor. Remember how Dr. B. was supposed to call me and let me know if I can even go there anymore because of the billing issues (Maybe I Still Dont Have a Doctor?)? Well, he never called. Toast called several times and left a message with the receptionist, and we never got a call back. This is why I want to find a new doctor, even if I can still go there. I need to find a doctor, but how do you do that, especially when you dont trust them at all?
Toast was supposed to call there today and find out if I can be seen and if so make an appointment because I need to have this checked. He made an appointment. The lady he talked to said that we could just come in and pay cash, but Im worried that Ill go, and hell say he cant do anything for the same reasons as last time. The problem isnt whether or not Medicaid will cover it, its whether or not he will have to bill Medicaid because of the original mistake. If that is the case, he wont get paid for seeing me, and obviously he doesnt want to do that.
This isnt my only issues with doctors at the moment. Molly wanted me to try Singulair. She sent a note to Dr. Millers (allergy and asthma) about it. When Toast talked to them, they wanted to know how I was doing with my 6 week treatment of antibiotics. Um, hello, I was having side effects and you told me to discontinue the antibiotic. Then we got a call awhile back about you having a note about my side effects, and you wanted to know what was going on. We told you that you already told me to discontinue and now, you still think that Im taking them? What the fuck? I have no faith in doctors, what so ever. I havent even been able to get myself to take the progesterone. Something about man made hormones just doesnt seem right to me. I keep planning on looking it up and trying to find natural ways to increase them, but I keep putting it off. I think in part because I know taking hormones can cause vomiting (What is a Phobia, Truly?), I didnt get sick when I used to take birth control, so that makes me feel a little better, but still. Also, I think it scares me, unless I know that Im working with a doctor that knows what theyre doing, and I trust. I dont know that that person exists.
In other news, Toast found a lawyer, and I guess he wont have to do any jail time. Im not sure what is actually going on. When I asked Toast what the lawyer said, this is the conversation that followed -
Toast: I dont know, he said he had to do this thing, and I wont have to go to jail.
Me: Do you have to do anything else?
Toast: I dont know, I might have go to the pretrial or something.
All he heard was that he doesnt have to go to jail, so thats all that I know at the moment. That makes me really happy, and you would think that I would be ecstatic, but my mood is not so great today. I woke up from an awful dream. Ive had this dream before, which worries me, what am I supposed to be getting from it? If Im to take the dream literally, I am not a happy camper, and if not, if its symbolic, of what? Also, the past few days, Ive been having random images of Chance periodically invading my mind. There good images, happy, cute things she did, but it makes me sad, I miss her. Then, I was talking on the phone with Toast a little bit ago and he told me something that initially pissed me the fuck off, but now Im not sure how Im feeling about it.
Theyve hired a new guy to work at the shop with him, and the hours are going to be split up. Toast = Tuesday Thursday, noon-6, Friday and Saturday, noon -8. The other guy will be coming in at 4 and working later. On the one hand, I do like the fact that he will be getting out earlier. However, there will be another artist there, so he doesnt automatically get every tattoo that walks through the door and you have no idea how many times hes sat there all day, doing nothing, and then someone walks in at 7pm, and he calls and says hes going to be late. More people come in later. He doesnt make that much money in the busy season. Winter he hardly makes anything, we cant afford for him to make less. Its already started to slow down, and with the days that the shop was closed and all that, hes only made $200 so far this month *sigh*
Stolen from my Wordpress blog, Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land